by Madison Briggs

Created on: September 12, 2008

Becoming a father was one of my proudest moments. My first child was a beautiful daughter with sweet little fingers and toes and a quick smile or angelic giggle that would melt my heart while bringing untold joy to my life. Nothing will ever compare to the first time a father lays his eyes on his beautiful daughter.Early years of my daughter's life brought several more enjoyable firsts and the bond all fathers wish to make with their daughters. The heart wrenching illnesses when your daughter wants only Daddy to rock her, or her asking you to hold her up high when waves are nipping at her toes. Even the sobs when the Barbie dream house implodes and she knows Daddy can fix it.

Then the sweet daughter seemingly overnight enters puberty and there is nothing Mr. Fix It Daddy can do to make his daughter happy it seems except to take her to the mall for the latest fashion necessity. Most fathers do not care for shopping at malls and we are totally clueless about our daughter's emotional outbursts. This is the time when some fathers become quiet to the point of withdrawn from their daughters for survival. We do not want their wrath, do not understand them at all, and in a time when daughters need us the most, we tend to push them off on their mothers to guide them through this stage. We cannot fix what we do not know or understand is ailing or seemingly broken in them. We find out later, it is just the rite of passage.

Sooner than thought, the daughter becomes an adult and hopefully her father's withdrawal period was not that noticeable to her. She again needs you to cart heavy boxes to her 8th floor dorm room without the elevator. She needs you to move her furniture to her new apartment. She needs your shoulder when that jerk of a boyfriend dumps her even while you are overjoyed inside. As a father, you find your place in her world again and the relationship with that small daughter who needed you has come home again. Tell her it is good to be needed. Daughters need to understand fathers may not be the best at emotional conversations but we show our love with a hammer, duct tape and heavy lifting.

Fathers also need to spend quality time with their daughters getting to know what makes them tick. While fathers need to be needed, daughters need to be appreciated also. While you are hanging up the horrible poster she has selected, engage her in conversations about her art collection. Tell her about your first apartment, first poster or first concert. You will always be her Daddy and she will always be your little girl, but it is important to let her see the person in you and the person in her. She needs to know your failings so she will feel free to share any with you. Educate her on the proper way to find a stud in the wall and let her in turn educate you on the best store for bargain clothes. Keep the line of communication always open. Find joy in your differences and likenesses. Teach her and let her teach you. Reach her and let her reach you. Hug often and savor these moments because before long you will not be the only man in her life, but always be the father your daughter can count on for anything.

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