by Donna Carroll Batton

Created on: September 12, 2008

While trying to save your failing marriage for the sake of your children may sound noble, it isn't always a sound idea. There are many extenuating circumstances to take into consideration. No two families are alike and shouldn't be bound by the same concepts.

There are many horror stories circulating concerning the negative effects divorce has on the children involved. How many times have you heard the expression "children from broken homes" and felt anger at the parents who caused this turmoil in the lives of their children? Yet, frequently, critics of divorce don't fully understand the reasons behind the dissolution of a marriage.

I experienced this turmoil first hand when my marriage began unraveling and our house became increasingly fraught with anger, harsh words and undeserved punishment. Divorce wasn't something I jumped into with both feet. In fact, our marriage endured for twenty-three years before I finally decided the whole family would be better off if I filed for divorce.

My husband and I were married young. I was barely twenty and he was two weeks shy of his twenty-first birthday. We had been going together for four years, amidst quarrels and break-ups. Many times, mostly because of his moodiness, I broke up with him only to have him apologize and sweet talk me into taking him back. I was too easily cajoled.

After two years of marriage, we finally started our family. The first three children were two years and eighteen months apart, consecutively. The next two were surprises and only eleven months apart. The next several years I was busy raising five young children and taking care of my husband and our home. He worked the second shift at the local auto plant and those years are a blur of diapers, bottles, strollers and car seats. They passed quickly.

It was when our five children began their teen years that the trouble really mushroomed. My husband became moodier and more possessive, wanting to keep our children and myself on a very short leash. While I was used to it by now, the children were at the age where they wanted to spread their wings and fly. Their father was against sleepovers at friend's houses and most anything else that kept them away from home for very long. And their friend's were uncomfortable at our house because of their father's constant hollering and nagging.

I should also mention that my husband had a gambling problem and spent a lot of time at the racetrack or OTB places. While angry about this at first, I soon learned to enjoy

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