by Ronnie Dauber

Created on: September 12, 2008   Last Updated: October 03, 2008

There are benefits to bereavement counselling that may be crucial to the bereaved in helping them accept their loss and find closure. Counselling is the point of contact that helps them to overcome their emotional trauma and get the release or closure that they need to move on in life. Many people are devastated and lose all hope and their reason for living, and they need help to see beyond that point.

In many cases it is the guilt that inevitably follows the incident that convicts the one left behind that they are responsible and deserving of a life of sorrow. They accept the blame and hide inside themselves because of it.

This is a difficult issue to deal with because you're dealing with someone who isn't thinking outside the box. They can't see beyond their loss or their convictions. They can't accept that it's not their fault.

Bereavement counselling is set up to enable the person to see and understand all the facts surrounding their loss. It is a psychotherapy that allows them to see and accept the truth of the situation, and hopefully will draw them away from their own self-destruction.

Often individuals suffering from these deep convictions are not able to reach out for help themselves. They are lost and torn inside and don't have the ability to see any kind of release so they won't look for it. This is where family and friends would need to act tenderly, and convince the person to seek bereavement counselling.

They likely won't go alone so someone close would need to go with them, but over time the bereaved would come to a point where they would be willing to open up to answers. And when they get there, the counselling will slowly begin to take affect.

It's not a fast process in many cases. There is accepting the loss, which in itself will require a lot of compassionate counselling. And then there's the mindset of the guilt that needs to be broken down until the person can see that they are not to blame.

In some instances, sadly, the loss might be their fault as in they were driving the car that crashed or perhaps they weren't able physically to take in an elderly person leaving them to pass in an old age home.

They could be facing angry family members and not know how to deal with them, and that oppression could take them to the place where they won't forgive themselves for what they've done. The counsellor would work with them as they help them to deal with the family and to forgive themselves, and to accept it and move on.

Sometimes the person is so hurt by their loss that they actually block out what family or friends say because they feel that these people are just being kind and don't really know what they are feeling. Words of sympathy and passion won't be heard and the person will fall deeper into their personal trauma.

Bereavement counsellors are trained to deal with these sensitive issues and know how to draw these hurts and convictions to the surface so the person can get release on their emotions. It can be a very long process and likely not be anything short of tearful and disheartening.

But over time, the counsellor will be able to convince the bereaved that there is hope for a future that could be filled with love and laughter again.

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