by Stephen Bate

Created on: September 12, 2008

Generally, all married couples can remember that first flush of enthusiasm, love and adventure as they launch their marriage ship into the difficult waters.

We all say to each other, and to ourselves, that we will never allow external pressures, petty jealousies or silly traits affect our love for one another or our relationship. These are fine words, and are generally always meant, but many pressures exert themselves on a marriage that can easily break it apart.

We all know this, as we are all cursed with individual human nature, and so we try desperately to ensure that financial worries, issues with any children and other external "factors" do not affect us.

However, by concentrating on these wider factors we often ignore the issues that undermine a relationship more than any other, and these issues are human habits, human failings and personality.

Marriage is all about communication, nurturing and trust. All three of these are equally important, but all three of these can be equally weakened if we fail to recognise the signs and the factors that make them fail.

Our bad habits develop (and I do not necessarily just mean hygiene, manners or bad language) when we feel comfortable and established in our surroundings. You are never more comfortable than when you are at home and with your life partner, so these habits can rear up very easily.

Bad habits such as laziness, ignorance or lack of communication can easily become huge in our home environment, but these can be interpreted as a lack of respect, lack of courtesy or a lack of love by a partner who is in close proximity to it every day. We always wish to be treated well and repected, but this will only happen if we behave well and respect others.

Bad habits in a relationship can fundamentally erode this respect and good feeling, so we should try to ensure that courtesy and good manners are observed at all times. Of course, relax in your home, but always consider how your actions and habits affect others.

Never slip into the bad habit of not talking or, more importantly, not communicating. When this starts to happen the relationship can drift and individual aims and goals start to drift apart.

There are enough pressures on a marriage without allowing our own actions to weaken it, so we should always be aware of the affect we have on others, and should never allow bad haboits into the home.

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