by Mona Alessi

Created on: September 11, 2008

I truly believe that losing someone is one of the hardest things that we will ever face in our life. It doesn't matter if it is a parent, spouse, or even a child the feelings that you feel are devastating. You somehow realize that you are alone. I don't mean physically but you are left with your memories and thoughts and they seem to fill your entire day. It is not only hard for you but also the other people in your life. They have trouble trying to figure out how to talk to you or even if they should talk to you. Sometimes we just want to be alone or other times we want to talk and share memories but we are afraid that we will start crying and this will scare the person away and they will start avoiding us. I did go to grief counseling and I believe that it did help. There were people there that shared their feelings and it didn't matter if we knew the deceased or not we somehow felt a part of their lives. People were there who just had lost someone to people who were still feeling the grief for a person who might have died five or six years ago. It was a little scary at first because I wanted these feelings to go away and when I heard the people talk about how they still were so sad after years and years I guess I didn't want to think that this is what could happen. I started going because I had lost my grandson's mom and she was like a daughter to me. Then the next year I lost my dad and the following year I lost my husband. I would go back after each one and I thought that I was never going to be able to stop going there. I believe that the best thing about this counseling is that you could share things with these people that you could not share with your family. It might be something that they did not know about and you didn't want them to know but it was something that you needed to talk about and at this counseling you could do that. You were asked to sign a paper stating that you would not talk about what was said outside of the room and that if you were to see someone outside of the session you were not to mention the class unless they mentioned it first. By the end of six weeks we became friends. The one thing that I learned was that if anyone in my life lost someone that I would be able to talk to them. I would let them know that it was okay to cry. When I meet people for the first time and we start talking about something that will make me sad or cry I will always tell them that it is okay if I cry because I like to talk about my loved one and I will be okay. Somehow the tears help but I can get past them and I thank them for letting me grieve. I think that as long as you have a good counselor and that the people there are there to get help that this counseling is very useful. We were given excellent reading material and always invited back if we felt that we needed to be there. The most important thing to remember is that you have to help yourself but you are not alone.

Learn more about this author, Mona Alessi.
Click here to send this author comments or questions.