by N. Cullen.

Created on: September 11, 2008

PRODUCTS YOU NEED, STUPID MALE

This topic seems to be discussed, on a daily basis, by the rich, poor, white, black, green, brown...you get the point. I can't even have a product marketed to me without it telling me I will smell better to the opposite sex, look more sophisticated or "cooler". Whatever they have determined my demographic is, some advertising department somewhere knows I like love (who doesnt?), or was it sex (who doesnt?). I am a twenty-two year old male, and due to this, I get subtle hints about how to be more desireable.

I felt like compiling a list (gasp) of products that would make me a super stud if marketing got their way! This list will be a top two, because almost every ad targeted at me is not targeted to my mind, rather a much lower area. I think, they think, HE does the thinking!

Here are my recent faults, as a male, prescribed by society:

1. I smell bad, and without smelling good girls will not fly into my nose and throw a 'kickin' party.

Ex: In a recent Old spice ad, I learned that not only do I need deodorant to start a dating party with women, I also need to use
there shower gel and shaving products. Surely if I use another brands products for these functions, it will not be anywhere close to enough. By using only old spice products, flashing lights, jet packs, beautiful women, and such will all have a party (with no other men in sight) in my nose where they shoot each other with my face gel. Sexy, i guess....until I realize, did the think through the itching that would occur in my nose if many women with jet packs in high heels were in my nose? I think not.

2. Bring a condom to the bar, or you are the dirtiest of dirty.
Ex. Trojan's new condom commercials teach me that it doesnt matter what you look like, how you act, or anything of that nature. Men are all pigs. We are dirty, little scoundrouls preying on the 'weak' women that go to the bar to just 'have a drink'. But alas, we still have a redeeming quality during these drunken conversations. A CONDOM! With this device, trojan leads me to believe, any other product that was meant to make me look more desireable goes out the window. Without it, I might as well write down the location of my right hand (of course on my right hand) because I am a bad, non condom bringing out person. Since OF COURSE, we are all only at the bar for sex....

I would compile a top five, or even a top ten, but it would be hard to start at that with every male-driven product marketed to me even in one time slot on one prime time T.V. show is about sex. Within an hour of watching T.V. I could have many many products designed to 'get me laid'. But is that really the point of looking good, smelling good, and being safe when having sex? I think not.

I feel advertising is more concerned with my sex drive than I am, how pecuilar.

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