by Joilene Rasmussen

Created on: September 10, 2008

Little Mirrors

Children are as God made them, with some being naturally reclusive, and others bold beyond reason. Many fall between these extremes, normally finding it simple to gain associates and make friends. However, even these need good modeling and some training to become their public best.

There are three main problems I see repeatedly in a variety of children. One, is the Scrambler. This type is highly competitive and often sensitive, with an overdose of enthusiasm, and full confidence in his ability to conquer everything around him. Two, is the Scribbler. She may be laid back and usually quiet, but underneath her calm expression, a fierce tangle of thoughts rages. She usually is plotting a novel, inventing a new communication device, or thinking up a use for ragweed. Third, is the Squirmer. This type usually appears to lack confidence, and may cry when presented to strangers, or forced to be the center of attention. Within these three types are shades and mixtures of meaning and attributes, but most children lean more toward one or another.

Before we look at what can be done to help the three main types overcome their weaknesses, let's explore a few things that can benefit nearly any child, of any type.

Social skills and graces are primarily learned behaviors, though some people certainly have more flair for them than others. Teaching a child to be a social success starts the moment he or she is born, and, arguably, before. Even an infant hears the interactions of others, and those responses begin to set grooves that will translate to behaviors later on. So before you come to the point of worrying about how your child will do on the kindergarten playground, take a long, hard look at your speech habits. Even with your mate, do you regularly yell, curse, or otherwise cause ripples of dissension? Be sure your child will model you. This came home to my husband and I forcefully when our firstborn was three, and had a chance to hunt Easter eggs with his cousins. One of them later said, "He's a doll, but he says *." Oops. Guess he had a bit of trouble finding those eggs!

Another way you can set your child on a good track is to wear him or her as much as practical. My babies went in a stroller or backpack wherever I happened to be, even at work. Because of this, they naturally saw how adults conduct themselves, and used that information as a basis for their practice. My son is outgoing, while my daughter is more reserved, but they both have seen my husband and

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