Is it a Learning Disability or More
It seemed like our daughter was continually getting reprimanded at home for incomplete, simple tasks; such as, cleaning her room, setting the table, or even getting dressed. One evening when she expressed great frustration because she could not get out of the tub, dry off and get dressed by herself bells and whistles went off in my head. I realized that she was not carrying on because she didn't want to get out of the tub and get ready; she couldn't without constant supervision and guidance.
There were other incidences that we questioned and when explored further they lead to the conclusion that our daughter was indeed suffering from a learning disability. She had learned to accommodate her short-comings by memorizing instead of learning the skills that helped in the development of reading and writing. While at home she had a list of chores to complete. She would only perform the chores that were done on a daily basis as opposed to the jobs that were random, like putting her clean laundry away when called for. We were forced to put all guilt of the past yelling matches aside so that we could focus our attention on the testing and diagnosis of her disability; mild dyslexia.
In educating ourselves about our daughter's disability, we have discovered ways to help her perform to her potential in school without her feeling signaled out. This was crucial for self esteem. The following suggestions and comments have been retained through her doctor as well as teachers and self performed research on dyslexia.
1. Keep in constant contact with your child's teacher regarding progress or obstacles. If you feel your child's needs are not being met or recognized, don't hesitate to go to the school counselor for assistance. Not all teachers are familiar with dyslexia's complex traits and may need some background information to help them understand better what your child is experiencing.
2. It is important for the entire family, including extended family, to express support for the child. They need to be aware of what dyslexia is and the obstacles that it imposes on a child. For instance, when we would ask our daughter to carry out a task in front of family and it lead to a conflict because it appeared she just didn't want to do it, the family would be very surprised at her "spoiled" reaction as well as our tamed one.
3. Children with dyslexia tend to be more nervous and up tight; therefore, an environment that is loud or involves a great deal of yelling can tend to set off temper tantrums and loss of self control. Keep the atmosphere calm and watch your child for signs of stress. If need be, remove them from the situation or redirect their attention until they calm down.
4. Break tasks down into a few simple steps. With your child, write down a daily routine together and post it where they can view it; their bedroom by the door for example. Make the sentences short and simple. Go over them daily. New tasks can be added by the parent when the child appears to be ready for more responsibility. We set up such a board in our daughter's room and it was a huge success, not only in giving her a clear idea of what was expected of her, but her self esteem greatly improved because she could now follow through on what was expected of her without assistance and conflict.
5. Try not to loose your temper when tasks are not carried out by your child. They do not process information the way we do. You may say, "Make your bed and clean your room", but to them what you said may have been construed as, "go to your room and open your clothes drawer". It is the same way when they are reading material. They are not reading what we are reading. In some cases, letters are always turned around and not in the same order that they are for us. Try to keep this in mind if you are on the brink of insanity. If they sense your frustration, you will get it back two fold!
These suggestions have helped us understand how our daughter perceives things from her point of view. In response to knowing this, we have learned how to incorporate her disability into her life, not incorporate her life into her disability. My biggest suggestion is not to hesitate if you think that your child shows prolonged difficulty in tasks that you feel they should have mastered already. It never hurts to ask a professional and most of the time, there is not a problem, but when there is it will only get worse with time and lack of assistance. The quicker the diagnosis can be made the sooner a problem can be addressed and dealt with.
Like most learning disabilities, dyslexia can be hard to diagnose, but with research and the help of a trained professional, it can be treated properly and your child, like ours, can experience positive school experiences and hold the same self confidence as the top reader in his/her classroom.