by Lonnette Harrell

Created on: September 10, 2008

The loss of a loved one is the most difficult life event that any of us will ever face. In today's society, there is almost no time set aside for grieving-a necessary part of healing. While grief rituals in the past may have been very restrictive and confining, today's modern world barely misses a beat when death occurs.

As soon as the funeral is over, relatives and friends are expected to return to work, or daily activities, within a few short days. Almost all of their community support is centered on the days immediately following the death. But while this is greatly appreciated, this is also the time when survivors are in shock, and may not fully have absorbed the magnitude of the loss. With funeral or memorial plans to arrange, the bereaved are caught up in a whirl of activities. Often relatives and friends will visit to pay their respects, and the grieving individual is rarely, if ever, left alone in those busy days.

But when the service is over, and the socializing is done, many people find themselves completely alone, with the numbness wearing off. While others are ready to resume their regular routines, those in mourning are just beginning the grieving process. Before long, friends and coworkers are weary of the bereaved, and they have no one to turn to for support.

This is the time when bereavement counseling can be so beneficial. Grief is a journey, not an event. The term "grief work" means that it takes time to process the loss-time to deal with the sorrow and heartbreak that death brings.

I have been an online grief counselor, and have found that those who are grieving, need someone who will listen to them. They have a desperation to tell their story, and to express their pain. In telling their story, they are able to acknowledge their feelings of sadness and loss. For many, the task of facing the world again, without their loved one, is a daunting endeavor. They may have experienced a sudden, unexpected loss, or they may have endured months, or years, of caring for a loved one prior to their death. In either case, they are exhausted and hurting. Telling their story is a way to work through the sorrow.

There are various types of grief counseling. Some individuals prefer the privacy of one on one counseling, while others need the support that group counseling offers. In our online grief community, people found solace and encouragement from others, who had experienced the trauma of loss. Just knowing that they were not alone comforted them greatly, and

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