by Robin Tidwell

Created on: September 10, 2008   Last Updated: September 15, 2008

Message boards can be tricky to navigate. Sometimes it seems like you fit right in, other times it appears that "everyone" knows everyone else and you hesitate to respond or post in case you upset the applecart. Often, too, you may feel like you can't give an honest opinion for fear of backlash or the unpopularity of your views.

When joining an online community or group, it's best to begin by introducing yourself, especially noting your history and the pertinence of your membership; in other words, let folks know why you decided to join and why you think this is the "right" place to be. Give a few personal details, as much or as little as you feel comfortable with; we are always told to be "anonymous" online, so as to avoid the weirdoes and others who prey on the unwary, but there comes a time when you have to let your guard down a bit.

Why should you do these things? If you intend to get to know people and for them to know you, if you want to be able to have meaningful conversations about your topic of choice, you must allow others to see a bit of the "real" you; they will do likewise. If this is not comfortable for you at all, perhaps a message board is not where you need to spend your time. You don't have to tell your life story on the first day, but gradually you can get to know everyone else.

Once your presence is established and you've begun to exchange stories and anecdotes with other board members, you might want to post a question yourself. Or you might feel confident enough or have a been-there-done-that story to share to help someone else.

It really comes down to your own comfort level and feeling of belonging. It may take some searching to find the right group. Another thing to consider is if this board is a place you like to hang out, so to speak, or if you are just there to check some technical advice or ask a single question. The former usually have guidelines in place; the latter is a come-and-go type of situation.

Do remember, whether posting a question or giving advice, that it's much more difficult to understand the nuances behind a written post versus one "in real life" or "IRL". While IRL, you have the advantages of facial expressions, nudges, shrugs, body language, and so forth; online message boards, relying on the typewritten word, are lacking in this area. Some of the best boards have symbols, abbreviations, and even graemlins or icons that can be used to expand expression. Also, as you get to know other members, you can generally tell what would be well-accepted or completely misunderstood.

Stick to the subject at hand, and think before you respond. Do not go off-topic and redirect the thread to your own issues; that would call for a separate post. Do not be annoyed if no one responds immediately. Some communities and boards are more active at different times of day or even different days of the week.

Don't be afraid to go back and clarify what you meant, and don't be afraid to apologize if someone takes something the wrong way. Don't feel like you necessarily have to defend yourself, and if you get upset, take a break for bit.

A message board can be a great place to get or give advice, learn information, debate different topics, and even to form friendships that may go beyond the Internet and develop into IRL relationships.

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