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Gossip

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Both tattletales and gossips are extremely annoying! If one happens to sit next to one of these mutants at work or school, you'd better be looking over your shoulder and staple your mouth shut. Trust goes out the window with both of these low-lifes, and keeping to yourself should be the general rule.

Who is the more annoying co-worker: The tattletale or the gossip? After thinking hard about this, I believe the gossip is the more annoying. The reason is that the tattletale is not annoying, the tattletale is sub-human in my eyes. Tattletales don't have a very long life-span. Tattletales usually get their due when they are caught. They have the life-span of a quark in prison, for instance. About a half of a nanosecond. Gossips on the other hand, well they are more interesting to deal with.

Gossips are the more annoying because you can't talk to them as your information is not safe. Realize that anything you say to them will be broadcast. You might as well call your local tv or radio station, but the hard-core gossip has a larger range. I learned this the hard way with one of my neighbors.

I live in a condo community that has a few gossips entrenched here. They are like stop signs on the road, a necessary evil. No matter what is said to them, you can be assured it will be common knowledge around the community within hours. We don't really need a newsletter in our community, just speak to one of these gossips and everyone will know what is going on. It really is incredible. These are people whose main goal in life is to talk about OPI. That is other people's information. They live for it, they thrive on it, and they ultimately pay the price for it but they can't stop doing it. It is hard-wired into their makeup.

These people should all work for the media. That is their true calling. They know everything there is to know in our community, and then some. They know info on extended families, financial info, romantic info(that is one of their favorites), personal hygiene info etc. The list is too long to go into, but you get my drift.

Co-workers or neighbors, it doesn't matter because these spy-for-spy-gossips live to tell all! That is their main mission in life, and they can't be stopped. Well, there is one way to stop them, and that is to tell them erroneous information. Soon enough, people won't listen to them because their info is false, and other people will catch on and tell them to stuff it. It really is fun to watch. Just tell the gossip something so juicy they can't wait to broadcast which is totally false. Then watch them get shut down. It really kills them. They just can't believe that people won't listen to them. They can't believe they are tainted. Like the boy who cried wolf, no one in their right mind will give them the time of day anymore. It is the law of false info entropy, and they are the carrier of the spore.

So the next time one of these human plagues is encountered by you, you know what to do. Ply them with tall-tales, false info, and valuable gossip and then watch them shrink up and die. It is one of my favorite sports.

Learn more about this author, Anthony Megna.
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