by Shandra Lorne

Created on: January 11, 2007   Last Updated: November 24, 2011

Cheating is a very vague word, and I think that each individual's perception and situation bring meaning to it.

But a good rule of thumb is that anything your partner does with another person that devalues your importance in their life or theirs in your life.

It could be something as blatant as your partner fooling around with someone else, or kissing someone else, or it could be as simple as them taking someone else for a friendly walk in the park. A walk in the park seems harmless and usually is, but if you feel that it takes time away from your relationship, then you are no longer the number one importance in your partner's eyes, and therefore, it is cheating.

I had a boyfriend who could make me feel jealous and ashamed just by the way he spoke intimately with other girls. But every relationship is not created equal. The guy I'm dating now brings a completely different mood to our relationship and he has multiple female friends but never makes me jealous or makes me feel that he is overstepping his boundaries with any of them. Why am I so lenient with one guy and strict with another? It's not a mathematical formula I came up with; it is just my gut feeling and the way it responds differently in different relationships.

Basically, search your heart. If you tell your friends that your partner is cheating on you, and they tell you that you are being too harsh, that your partner's actions are okay, then who is right? You are-because it must have upset you and in the end, what matters is how YOU feel about it. That is how each person defines "cheating" for their specific situation.

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