by Jennifer Henderson

Created on: September 10, 2008   Last Updated: October 31, 2008

Tomorrow it will have been three weeks since our children were removed from our home under false allegations of abuse.

How can I express the heartache and pain of being separated from my babies? It is like a death without closure. It is like a battle for the health, happiness, and stability of my children and family. We were not prepared for this. How can anyone prepare for something so difficult and devastating as having your children removed by child protection.

Two years ago, we had three beautiful children placed into our home for adoption. For two years I have spent most of my time gearing my life to helping our children heal from emotional and attachment related traumas, and learning about their many disabilities. For two years, I have had my children beside me nearly every waking moment. And now they are gone. As we fight for their return, my emotions flip between hope (they have to give our children back, we didn't do anything wrong) to dispair (because our finalization papers weren't in, the ministry holds all the cards. We can be proven completely innocent, and still they can choose to keep our children.)

Our children were not typical. They suffered learning, behavioural, and health challenges as a result of prenatal exposure to alcohol and drugs. They also had several emotional and behavioural challenges as a result of early childhood traumas and multiple caregivers. They struggled to fit in. They struggled to learn. They struggled to behave and act appropriately. They struggled to trust adults. They had a real difficult time allowing themselves to be dependent on us - but they were healing. They were getting there. We were learning how to gear their environment, schedule, and even diet to one they could succeed in. So easily overwhelmed and frustrated, they would often break down into violent, self harming rages if we allowed too much stimulation into their lives.

Our 9 year old was homeschooled. For a child with borderline intelligence, and many stumbling blocks to learning, he was doing very well. In the last two years in our home, he completed three grade levels of work with an A average. In our home, most of the time he was calm. Though prior to placement, he was said to be highly aggressive, and had been suspended from school several times, we only had one incidence of aggession in 25 months.

Our 5 year old had a jekyl and hyde type of personality. When she was good, she was very, very good. When she was bad she was horrid. We were told that she

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