by Catalina Vargas

Created on: September 10, 2008   Last Updated: September 15, 2008

I saw her face, I saw her suffer, I saw her pain, oh yes, I saw her. It was feeling like no other. Why her? I love her she can't leave me. Cancer? No! I was afraid to let her go. Didn't know when or how it was gonna happen.

She was my grandmother, my best friend, she was what I dreamed of becoming, evrything I ever looked up to. She was everything to me, she was myself, my life, even my personality. I loved her more than anything, more than life it self. I cryed myself to sleep for many, many days but every second I had with her was sacred. Not one was wasted because she loved me, and I loved her and even in the darkests of hours, we learned together that a smile can always be found. She tought me to laugh at life, and to celebrate every single second of joy you have.

Now she's gone. I can't see her every day, actually I'll never see her again, but her memory is still fresh. Every moment we had together in this 16 years come and go all day long. I keep her smile in my mind and see it in the stars, in the moon, and everytime I close my eyes. She's always there and now she all I believe. In my mind I only have the laughter, the smiles, the games, the stories, the jokes, and so many more that never leave my memory, my heart.

There's nothing earned form crying, but if you reflect on the on the reason for that crying you get to the bottom of your heart. You learned from yours flaws, but most imprtantly you need to learn form those bumps life puts in ours path, in our road. And everytime theres an answer taht can be found, and no matter what it is, we can always smile.

So yes, I saw her pain, I saw her suffer, but I saw a smile, so perfect it never went away. A smile that is now soo deep in me that every moment of weakness, it brings mr back up and teches me hoe to smile and how see that she is now looking down and feeling proud of me because I know now that I can smile to life in the gardest of situations and she is garding my every step as my own and most dearful Guardian Angel. Lela, I love you, and I'm thankful and mostly proud to call myslef your garnd daughter. Thank you for being there, for telling me to keep going. Thank you for showing me an other side to life, for helping me up evrytime I fell, for being my eyes when I couldn't see, for beiing my voice when I wasn't able to speak, for being my strenght when I was weak and teaching me what to smile. Thank you for everything, thank you for loving me.

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