by Nokomis Tatiana

Created on: September 09, 2008

I had to pick a side, there was not a choice for "depends on situation", but had there been one - that would be my true answer.

Giving up a child for adoption can be a result of hundreds of scenarios, all of which could be for very different reasons. There are those that give up a child for fear of ridicule, disappointment, or even being disowned. There are those that do it because they know their child will be a different color than they are, their families are, or their husbands are. Some give a child up for the simple fact that they cannot maintain their single or comfortable lifestyle with a baby. These are selfish reasons.

Then there are reasons that are giving. Someone who knowingly conceives a child for the sole purpose of allowing someone else an opportunity at parenthood, is a truly giving person. I suppose even this act would not be truly selfless, as you could walk away with the satisfaction of knowing what a great gift you have given. There are some, also, that give a child up for the mere fact that they know they will not be able to provide for it in the way it deserves,and want to give their baby the best available resources.

There aren't very many scenarios, however, that I could say would be completely selfish when it is all said and done, for the simple fact that giving a child away that came from your own body will always cause trauma to one's emotional state. I know at the time, some mothers may not realize this, but I have yet to meet one that was completely satisfied with the decision.

That being said, I think a lot of reasons that come about this decade are mostly selfish, atleast initially. The society that we live in today has become very accepting, or atleast jaded and nonchalant, when it comes to teen pregnancy, single un-wed mothers, divorced moms, and career women who are still expected to primarily care for the children. Don't get me wrong, being a single mother of a four year old in daycare myself- I know all about the challenges of having to choose between risking your job or making your baby boy go to daycare with a fever after giving him tylenol and praying his fever stays away until the end of the work day. I know all about not getting child support and the never ending battle with the baby's father as well as the state child support agency .(aren't they supposed to be on my side?) I know all about the father not approving of the baby and not wanting him, all about the family whispering because my son is, well- darker than they

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