4 of 11

Write now Article Tools

Neither of us had any debt when we decided to get married, back in the early seventies. We didn't discuss money until after the ceremony, and then only to decide whether I should have housekeeping, or manage his entire earnings every week. I opted for housekeeping money, as I fully intended to work myself , but as I was pregnant within a month, this had to be shelved. I stretched that housekeeping and the family allowance as far as I possibly could, making all the children's clothes - and my own, and taking in repairs (as my mother had before me) and even making baby clothes and soft toys to sell. It made me a little more independent and a little less reliant on my husband. Even stay-at-home moms need to have independent moneys and have some say over their lives.

I was 18 when we got married, and by the time I was 24, I managed to secure a loan with my bank which enabled us to buy a house, with a shop and a sub post office. That move bought me independence and made me feel an equal partner, even though I had to close it down after a few years. I had laid the groundwork. And I had stayed at home with my children, as the shop was an integral part of the house. We had three children when we moved here and another three over the next ten years.
We did go through some difficult years when I couldn't work because of illness, but we got through. Money isnt everything and we were happy, on the whole. We liked the idea of self sufficiency, and have carried some of this with us throughout our marriage. It's an interest we have in common, although we're very different in other ways.
As far as finances go, we share expenses and also have our own money, separately. My husband likes to save for a rainy day and I like to share my surplus. I suppose we make a good team these days, as we balance one another. We're grandparents now, in our fifties, and I'm sad when I see that some men still think they can rule the roost' and that the little woman has to be at their beck and call, as well as having to ask for money for the least little thing. Its degrading and de-moralising. A good working partnership is everything - and everyone is entitled to a little give and take' - in equal measures. Go into a marriage with this in mind, and talk to one another - whether about finances or anything else concerning your relationship. Above all, be happy!

Learn more about this author, Marit Meredith.
Click here to send this author comments or questions.

Add your voice

Know something about Consider finances before marriage?
We want to hear your view. Write now!