by Luann Dawkins

Created on: September 09, 2008   Last Updated: November 01, 2008

When I was a child growing up, I was immortal right? I never imagined I would have to deal with an aging parent in my adult years. I was certain they would be strong and vibrant until I was gone and I could count on them to take care of me till then. What I wouldn't give to go back to those wonderfully naive days, when the worst that happened was a scraped knee or dropping your ice cream cone, ignorance was bliss.

Fast forward 40 years and I look at my elderly Mother, and think what happened to this picture? It seems like yesterday, she was taking care of all my needs, now the tables have turned. I learned that in order to deal with this situation, and not become criminally insane, you have to laugh.

My Mother loves to read and since she has had so many health problems, books are her escape. One day she told me she couldn't see to read and a steel blade punctured my heart. What would happen if she couldn't read anymore? Luckily, a cornea transplant skirted that issue, so we're home free, right? Of course, reality doesn't care what you want. Reality likes things her way and her way only. Brat.

Now the strokes start. Thankfully her strokes have been mild, but they have left some unwelcome guests. Walking went from a good gait to shuffling with a cane, memory has gone from fairly decent to "who are you, who am I, why are we here, and, are you sure you're doing that right?" All my Mother's tastes have changed since the last stroke, so the foods and movies she used to take delight in, are no longer enjoyable. Finding the food she will now eat at the grocery store is a crap shoot, and I still can't get it right

Alas, her books are ever loyal, but she no longer remembers what she has read. I asked her if she enjoyed the last book I bought her, she said "what book?" There is no point in arguing with your Mother when you are young. She will always prevail. When she is elderly and has had a few strokes, you may as well beat your head against the nearest wall. Not only will she win, she will aggravate the need for an answer right out of you.

After much debate, yelling, crying and general ill tempers, we have found that laughing at our situation is cathartic. Now, instead of wondering if I bought her a new book and arguing about it, she just laughs and says, "well, you won't have to buy a new book this week, I can't remember anything I read from the last one, so I'll just read it again." You have to admire a woman that can laugh at herself and keep on going.

I believe this is

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