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housekeeping chores. The Veteran's Administration has a similar program. There's also programs like Meals on Wheels and some senior citizen facilities offer meals. Utilizing these programs can greatly reduce the need for constant attention from family members.

Facing my own limitations can help to prevent resentment, anger, and frustration for everyone involved. I don't become overwhelmed by trying to be "superwoman," and the other person doesn't end up feeling like they are a burden to me, If I find myself becoming angry or resentful, then I know it's time to check my own perspective of the situation. Usually, the anger and resentment are the results of my thinking the person should be grateful for my help, when in actuality, the person never asked or wanted the assistance.

The third step is to evaluate your own perspectives. It's time to ask questions like: "Why am I insisting on being the one to care for my parent or child?; "Does this person really need my help, or am I just over - reacting to the situation?; "Whose expectations of me am I trying to live up to, my own or those of other people?" It's very easy to lose yourself while being involved with other people's lives. Thus, taking the time to check your own perspectives is highly important to maintaining good relationships. An attitude adjustment may have to be made sometimes. Looking at the situation from the other person's viewpoint is essential as well. Putting yourself in the other person's place can make you appreciate him or her more, plus make you admire the person more.

The last step to successfully coping with these life situations is to adequately release the stress and constructively express the emotions/thoughts. I do this in several ways, making sure that I alternate techniques to ensure their effectiveness. My techniques are to take long baths, sing, listen to music or play a musical instrument, or clap out rhythms. In addition, I read, work puzzles, do some gardening or yard work, or do some outdoor activities. Then there are the times I simply pray, or write down my thoughts. I will also sometimes write my problems out on papers and then burn or shred the paper while mentally releasing the problem into God's more capable hands. The main point is that I take time to nurture myself or allow others to nurture me.

As for the financial end of the situation, the only advice I can give is to set priorities. Re-evaluate the parameters you are setting for the solutions to your problems. Don't be afraid to be creative; do things in unorthodox ways if necessary. Also, don't be afraid to ask for help from others. Utilize any of the programs available in your area, as they are more likely to have better resources than you have.

Learn more about this author, Penny S. Vincent.
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