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AGING PARENTS: "Never-Never Land" Children and Feeling the SQUEEZE at Fifty: The Accordian Phenomenon.

Though the terms "aging parents" and "never-never land" children need clarification and definition, many middle aged 50-somethings and even 50-plus in an age of late child-bearing, don't need a second glance at this topic to understand what is meant.

Because longevity in adults has pushed the lifespan demographics for aging, a new term needed inventing to separate out older adults from those who are retired. That term is Senior citizens. Entire geriatric industries and organizations have sprung up to study, encourage, house, assist in living, and take care of U.S. citizens in our "declining years. Even socially controversial political debates arise over "do not resusitate" medical orders when people in their later years suffer health setbacks.

On the other side of this new general social concern, a new family dynamic has emerged. Parents may find that in the middle of their own active work life, their home becomes an accordian...squeezed on both ends.

A family dynamic that I dub "The Accordian Phenomenon" plays the music of a new era. The leaders of the band play their heartstrings in the process. Who needs Mom and Dad, or just Mom or Dad for those single parents out there, more? There are no symphonies with rising chords about this to alert us to danger as we stroll through the song book of life but there is common sense and lots of help out there.

While it is hard to phathom that the term "teenager" did not always exist, it is a term coined during a time in this country when child labor and juvenile delinquency were becoming part of the U.S. lexicon. Different countries define these years for kids in different ways and for different reasons. Suffice it to say that whatever the age of puberty begins, the emotional - psychological - and spiritual development of the family can be deeply affected. Some feel this is that time in life where we enter "never-never" Land.

Never-never decide that when caught in the middle of the young and the aging that you are the only one caught in the middle on this. So are the aging and so are the kids. Too often we forget that grandparents have the wisdom of the universe written all over who they are and what they believe in. Never-never forget, the kids are in need of great wisdom and you are likely too exhausted to do a lot more than just wait hand and foot on them. More than figuring out what to do - it may be important to consider

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