by R.A. Scott

Created on: September 09, 2008   Last Updated: April 03, 2010

Everyone is searching for it; but love is such an elusive thing. You can't see it, feel it, smell it or even taste it. Yet it seems to be something most people, if not all, seem to need in their lives. But once we find it can we tell the other person I love you too much?

I would suggest that you can indeed say those 3 little words too much, at least to some people. What on earth could cause someone to think they are hearing the words I love you too much? There is a word to describe such a person and that word might be neediness.

Someone who is insecure about themselves might demand to hear the words I love you much more than their partner might be willing to say it. This insecurity could cause someone to feel as though their partner was driving them nuts with their insecurity and neediness.

This neediness could well drive one partner away from the other. After all, who likes a needy person in their lives? Who wants to live with a person that has that much need in their lives?

Neediness can be one of the most destructive forces in any relationship. When people can not spend anytime away from their partners and they feel it is somehow important to hang all over their lover; both physically and emotionally. No one wants to be wrapped up in an emotional blanket by their partner. No one wants to feel smothered in any relationship.

So what can be done about it? What can you do if your significant other smothers you? If you have been together for a good while and this is not new behavior then you need to ask yourself if you really want to get rid of it. There are things that one might try to stop their partner from being so needy. The biggest of these is conversation but even conversing about an issue like clinginess is bound to end tragically.

If someone is needy and clingy the chances are slim you can convince them that there is no problem with the relationship and you aren't going anywhere. They will often become even more insecure about, well, pretty much anything and everything. Insecurity is a horrible thing and leads to all kinds of other problems.

Insecurity can lead to jealousy and that old green eyed monster is a relationship killer. It'll kill every relationship; it's just a matter of time. Jealousy is a wretched thing and is often caused by emotional neediness and physical clinginess.

So it is very possible for someone to say those 3 lovely little words too often and doing so can lead to some very unwanted consequences. However if you have been with your partner for more than a few years then perhaps you need to look at yourself and determine if you really like the behavior. Some people enjoy the neediness. So while you can say it too much maybe it's better than not saying it at all.

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