by Dawn McCaslin

Created on: September 09, 2008   Last Updated: January 19, 2009

Ending a relationship of any kind is painful, complicated, emotional and disappointing. It doesn't matter whether you're gay, straight, male or female...it's the end of a dream that you both shared and its the closing of a chapter. Lesbians are no different in their quest for love and happiness, though there is a stigma that they bring a tremendous amount of drama and insanity to their partnerships. Who hasn't heard the U-Haul jokes? But the fact of the matter is that break-ups in a relationship, lesbian or not, can be incredibly unfortunate even when they're long overdue.

I've heard horror stories from friends of their experiences with heinous lesbian break-ups that involve moving out in the middle of the day while their partner is at work to avoid a scene or vindictive behavior months afterwards that verge on psychotic. But this behavior is in no way unique to lesbians. Heterosexual relationships are chock full of infidelity, jealousy, rage, abuse and an inability to let go. It's the reason movies like "Fatal Attraction", "Closer" and "The Break-Up" are so successful. Everyone can connect on some level with these bizarre, and occasionally surreal, characters.

Unfortunately, even lesbians fall prey to abuse, neglect, dysfunction and unhealthy cohabitation. In situations like these, it is vital to seek help, invest in professional counseling or to end the relationship. No one should have to suffer at the hands of misery even when saying goodbye seems impossible.

Thankfully, I have been blessed by break-ups that have always been civil and relatively drama-free. They may have been a long time in coming or painful or sad, but even in the end we were able to respect each other and integrate back into our individual lives with little fanfare.

Ultimately, ending a relationship feels like the shattering of something that was once beautiful and full of passion. The most important thing is to seek refuge with friends and loved ones for support, take time to grieve and heal and know that even if the relationship failed, you learned some kind of lesson that will help lead you to a brighter future.

Every relationship we form takes us down a path of self-discovery. Lesbians have the benefit of coming from a tight knit community with a tremendous amount of resources. Regardless of how much drama a relationship has endured, take time to heal, get back out there when you're ready and always be true to yourself.

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