When a man and a woman were first created by God, it was a given that they were meant to be different and they were meant to serve a different purpose while complimenting each other. As a result, men and women are different in many areas, be it the way they look; their preferences and most importantly, they are different in the way they communicate to each other. The communication aspect of the difference is important because it is often the root cause of many relationships breaking up. There is no denying the fact that there is a huge communication gap between men and women and it is important to evaluate the causes of that gap and find meaningful ways to reduce that gap and save relationships that could otherwise not be saved.
There are several reasons why men and women communicate differently and some of the factors contributing to this might be as a result of one's culture or tradition; background or upbringing; a different personality and many other factors. These factors are what men and women can change in order to improve the communication gap, but there are some things that cannot be changed at all based on the fact that men and women were designed differently in so many areas. Perhaps to make this evaluation simple, it is best to discuss the communication between couples, be it married couples or couples that are in serious relationships.
On the one hand, men like or prefer not to share their emotions whereas on the other hand, women prefer to confront or tackle issues head on. Unfortunately, the way women communicate to men especially their spouses has been wrongly interpreted over the years. Men would normally view a woman that is a communicator as a trouble maker or an over-communicator' whereas the point is really to shed some light on an issue and get it resolved there and then. Unfortunate also, is the fact that some men believe that not confronting issues or bottling in their emotions makes a relationship more peaceful. What men do not realize is the obvious, that issues cannot simply go away because of the mere fact that they were ignored. Ignoring issues or not communicating as one is supposed to makes issues go unresolved and takes a toll on a relationship over time. The subsequent result is that women often end up being frustrated and even saying things that they did not mean to say, this however does not justify women talking to men disrespectfully or inappropriately.
The way men and women would naturally resolve issues cannot be changed much, however improvement in the factors that will be discussed below and which were highlighted earlier, will tremendously improve communication relations between men and women.
Firstly, one's culture and tradition is a contributing factor to the communication gap between men and women. For example, in many African cultures, people live in a patriarchal society where men are often heads of the household and breadwinners for their families. In the past, women in these types of environments were more subservient and submissive to their husbands and that is how women were expected to respond. But times have evolved and women have gotten opportunities that they never had in the past. Opportunities like attending school, getting educated and competing with men in the boardrooms.
In the past few decades, women roles have evolved with the changing times and also resulting in the way they communicate to their partners. Unfortunately, sometimes it appears as if some men have not realized that times have changed and the way people used to communicate in the past will not really work in the current environment. As a result, some men still expect their spouses to listen to and do what they say without questioning them much. While women have progressed in terms of empowering themselves through education, some men sometimes may view this as a threat. Some men sometimes believe that it is their responsibility alone to resolve issues that face the relationship. It is as if they feel like the woman is challenging their authority whereas the woman is only trying to better the communication in a relationship. This could lead to men being defensive at times especially when women try to point out certain issues. This is just one of the many examples of something that might contribute to the communication gap.
Secondly, one's background and upbringing has an effect on the communication gap between men and women. Generally, people who grew up under certain circumstances, for example, those who have experienced abuse in their lives, might have a communication problem later on in life. This is regardless of gender as it can affect both men and women. People, who have experienced abuse in their lives, be it physical or emotional can express themselves differently when communicating. This can be done by not communicating as much and avoiding confrontation or by communicating in an angry manner not being aware that they are destroying their relationships.
Lastly, different personalities have different effects on the widening communication gap between men and women. For example, some people are stubborn by nature and what they say has to go no matter what and they usually stand by their word. This applies to both men and women and communication will be broken if the stubborn partner or spouse is too stubborn to give in even when wrong.
The three factors raised above can be changed in order to improve communication relations between men and no women. By no means are the three factors discussed the only ones with an impact on how men and women communicate, these are just a few of many examples. If couples want to see their relationships improve over time, they should both make an effort to better their communication. Everything else in a relationship revolves around communication. The better one communicates, the better the chances that the relationship will make it all the way.
Communication without follow up action is fruitless. For example, if a woman informs her partner that she has been unfaithful to him and then promises to change, the follow up action is that there has to be a change, otherwise, what was the point of even raising the issue. Another example is that if a man tells her partner that If I'm running late from now on for something important, I will let you know in advance'. The follow up action is that next time the man is running late for an important event, he will reach out to his partner and let her know of the fact.
Communicating is not all that bad and the only thing that it can do is better one's relationships with others. Non-communication, does not make issues go away, it makes them stay there and accumulate into even bigger problems. This is the key to relationship survival and living in a happy relationship. By saying this, it is not suggesting that by communicating more, the relationship will be without its share of challenges, but this will equip the couple to better tackle the challenges they face. Also, communicating by merely raising an issue without coming up with a solution is fruitless. Three steps to effective communications between couples are to raise an issue in a timely fashion; formulate an effective solution together; monitor the progress with regards to the issue and do these steps over and over again.