by Dossie M Terrell

Created on: September 08, 2008   Last Updated: May 14, 2012

Once individuality was highly valued and there was the expectation folks would live by the rules of proper decorum. There was the sense they knew good manners went hand in hand with a civilized society. They went out of their way to respect each other. As we've made progress we seem to have sacrificed some of that humanity and civility. Today, everything seems to be in express mode; few folks take that extra step or the time to get to know their neighbors or help them if they need it.

Some may have read a recent news story where a woman lay dead on the floor of a major hospital, it took staff more than an hour to realize she was dead as many simply stepped over her. We should all be saddened by such heartlessness as it diminishes all mankind.

One thing that is certain, that is the state of most of our world today and it needs to be changed.

If we are not careful, we will find ourselves entrenched in a culture imbued with bad behavior and bad manners. It may soon be too late for any type of lasting restoration. Perhaps, if everyone takes a step back and try to become role models or agents of change rather than reactors to the rudeness of others, change will come. When someone is rude, rather than reciprocate, turn the table and overwhelm them with kindness. You will definitely be a better person for it.

When irate drivers become incensed at you for not moving over fast enough to let them pass, do not be tempted to stop if these individuals challenge you, keep driving. Nothing good will come out of it and you will only validate their bad behavior. Moreover, do not let them steal your peace and your calm as you go about your business. You will be a better person for it.

Chat rooms and blogs have become safe havens for those who spew hate and discord. Many of these same folks would probably run from their own shadow if they ventured out into the real world; so keep that in mind when you are tempted to respond angrily when you read their venom. You will be a better person for it.

Good manners and civility should be as much a part of an individual as breathing and just because there's the anonymity of the internet, individuals should not act any differently than if they were having face-to-face chats. If anyone is wondering why society has become so rude, the question becomes "what role am I playing to exacerbate or ameliorate the problem?" Individual actions cause collective results.

Some discourteous folks will blame stress for causing them to misbehave, do not accept that excuse. If folks live their lives in accordance with prescribed standards of conduct, it will cause them to prevail and act appropriately each time adversity or rude folks confront them. Good behavior should not be situational.

Start teaching your youngsters basic negotiating skills for handling misunderstandings between them and their peers. Often they do regretful things because they lack the appropriate vocabulary to settle differences.

Additionally, somewhere along the way, too many parents inadvertently eased up teaching their children to respect others. Change in the culture should begin in each home and in each school by teaching children the ABCs of proper protocol in social interactions. Good manners are not innate, they are taught, so everyone must re-think their interactions toward one another and start living by the golden rule, "Do unto others as you will have them do unto you."

Just as good etiquette is learned behavior, so is incivility; everyone can change if he or she is determined to do so.

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