by Stephanie Kjaerbaek

Created on: September 07, 2008

Marriage was once a requirement of men and women, forced upon them by social obligation and a sense of familial duty. The values of the church and synagogue dictated responsibilities in marriage. The role of a woman in marriage required submission and servitude. In return, the man protected her and provided income for her children as well as herself.

A woman couldn't have children outside of marriage. She would have to live under the scrutiny of a society that rejecter her, with limited career opportunities and no assistance in any way from the father. The man could walk away. Birth control and other options were not available. Welfare, daycare and medical insurance for single-parent families were unavailable to many. Women were forced to stay in unhappy marriages for the sake of their children. The courts often required a five-year separation with just cause for divorce before a decree could be granted. Spousal support and child support weren't always enforced and communal property dictates didn't exist.

What has happened is that the traditional structures of marriage have disappeared but the court system still believes that women are permanent dependants of men along with their children. The court confuses the ability to give birth with parental ability. There is an assumption that women are better parents. Most women work these days. Many men are actively involved in the raising of their children from childbirth. They want joint custody and sometimes full custody in divorce. The adversarial court system combines antiquated ideas about men's responsibility to women with bias in family law and absolute equity in distribution of assets. The results are that women are rewarded for divorce instead of marriage.

The security of marriage is threatened by no-fault divorce laws that allow a woman to file for divorce with absolute assurance she will receive custody of the childdren, alimony, the house and half the man's assets and income. Women often file for divorce while expecting this favourable outcome. They want the benefits of marriage but not the responsibilities. They want a double standard that discriminates against men. Forty percent of men have trouble seeing their kids on a regular basis if they are noncustodial parents. Women are rewarded with full custody nearly eighty-three percent of the time. Some men fork over half their earnings in alimony after losing a house. This is legalized robbery. The excuse of a housewife needing the money is ludicrous. Women

• 1
• 2
• 3
• 4
• Next Page >>