by Nita Frazier

Created on: September 07, 2008

Hard of hearing. I hate that phrase. People say it in hushed tones as if they are realy saying, "She's feeble minded."

I hate ht phrase "hard of hearing" because it is inaccurate and offensive. there is nothing hard about my hearing. It doesn't work very well so the correct term should be "soft of hearing".

I am deaf in one ear. All my life I have had to sit in the front row at school, church, theaters so I could hear everything that was being said.

In school this led to taunts of "teacher's pet, teacher's pet".
I learned to take, almost verbatim notes and to read extensively to make up for what I didn't hear in lectures.

Being hearing impaired intensified my shyness. I hear best in small groups and in low noise situations. I void crowds because I can't heard in the middle of a noisy crowd.
Naturally this led many people to think that I was a snob.

As a child and teenager, I kept my impairment as much a secret as I could. I wanted to be just like everyone else. By the time I reached high school I knew that most people bought into the "Deaf and dumb" theory. I wanted none of that so I made certain that I always made the honor role.

My parents could not afford to buy hearing aids for me, so I did without one. Truthfully, the hearing aids that were available then probably would not have met my needs.

As an adult I have become militant about standing up for myself and for my loss of hearing.
As I told my last employer: "I do not hear through walls, so if you call me from your office, I will not hear you. I do not hear through closed doors. If you want to talk to me, either buzz me on the intercom or come to the door. I do not hear if you talk to my back. If you have something to say, please have the courtesy of looking at me, so I can "see" what you are saying."

I started wearing a hearing aid when I turned fifty. It has helped remove some of the stigma of being hearing impaired. The aid has made things better but not perfect. I've found that the public thinks that a hearing aid corrects a hearing loss and restores full hearing. It does not.
I still have trouble hearing in crowds because the aid magnifies background noises.
Unless I have the aid on full volume I may not hear you if you call to me from a block away.
However, if you wave when I turn your way, I will know to turn up the volume or walk closer.

The hearing impaired are not dumb. Many of us hold advanced degrees. We live differently. Our lives are dictated more by sight and touch than are the hearing population.
We re not snobs or "stuck up" either. We simply did not hear what you said.

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