by Nel Chong

Created on: September 07, 2008

Nothing. To this question, let us not think of what we will leave behind tangilbly. Instead, let think of what we do not wish to leave behind. As the years roll by, some times I would ask myself what have I achieved so far? Without any prejudice, my life has been smooth except for an occasional tumble and fall around the corners and edges, but never a crash that leave too much cracks to smoothen over.

Without any children at present, there is no inheritance to pass on to. Being an average Jane of normal wage, I do not have great wealth to worry about who would benefit from my riches after my death and fight tooth and nail for it. Finally after years of struggle, I now possess a house which only worth a bit as far as a small place is worth.

Living with my mother as a single child to her, my only worry is if I were to die before her. Since earlier provisions has been arranged to ensure she would be fine after my death, I guess that worry is null.

What I would never ever wish to leave behind for sure is anger, hatred, sadness and unhappiness. Therefore, recently I had a thought. If today I were to leave this world, and a funeral was to be held, I would request that this sad affair to be turned into a party. Techno music should be played and the dress code would be retro. Rule number one of the party? Bring on all the smiles and laughter to my final place of rest, as a final gift of farewell.

If god is kind and grants me enough time, I would love to say sorry to all those whom I have hurt before and say a final goodbye to all my close friends and of course, to kiss and hug my mum goodbye.

In Buddhism there is saying that goes: when we are born to this life, we bring with us nothing. When we leave this world, there is nothing for us to bring too.

I am not a saint and will not tagg myself as a good person. In reality, I am a selfish woman, a vain one at that. I would rather those to remember me as some one happy, cheerful and strong than that to a weakling and a pitiful fool. If I have my way, I would paint every footprints that shows my trail in rainbow stripes and silver dust.

If I have to leave behind hatred, let those who hate me are those who loves me too much. To a major pool of believers, the reverse of hatred is love. If sadness has to be left behind, then let the sadness grew and evolve into strength. After every storm brings clear blue skies and may those sadness become the sunshine after rain. Should there be any anger, then allow them erupt and just as suddenly deflated into nothingness. Anger is a waste of energy, especially to a dead person.

What will I leave behind? Memories, be they good or bad, sad or happy. Emotions, be they anger, love or hatred. Everytime they heard a laughter, remember me, how I laughed freely without reservation. Everytime they cry, remember me, that I would always silently grieve with them. Everytime they hate, remember me, that I would laugh from my grave for their foolishness, of giving in to anger and despair and forgetting, that other than hatred, there are also love and forgiveness.

What will I really want to leave behind? Nothing, except happiness and love for all those around me.

Learn more about this author, Nel Chong.
Click here to send this author comments or questions.