by Ann Nelson-Russell

Created on: September 07, 2008

I often wonder how my brother is doing. More often though, I wonder who he is and where he resides. My own children ask me how I can miss a sibling that I never had the chance to meet and get to know. It is difficult to explain to them the emptiness I have carried for my entire life. The hollowness has been languishing from within for as long as I can recall.

I was barely walking on my own when my mother gave birth to a little baby boy. In my late grandmother's words, "he was a healthy, beautiful little boy with a head full of hair". Her words convey the only description of my brother that I have ever known. Where is he today? How is he doing? Does he even know that he has a sister that would love the opportunity to meet him?

We were both born in the same hospital eleven months and a few days apart. Our mother decided to relinquish her parental rights and signed the adoption papers in that hospital room the day he was born. The year was 1960 and adoptions were not talked about, many details were handled in a hushed manner. The birth state of Michigan continues to uphold a closed adoption stance. Where is he today? How is he doing? Does he even know that he has a sister that would love the opportunity to meet him?

I have always embraced the thought and held on tight to the belief that he was the lucky one. He was allowed to escape the clutches of our unstable mother. Upon my entrance into adulthood my desire to locate him grew immensely. The leads faltered and his identity remained a mystery to me. My prayers and hopes continued to envision the day when we would meet. Where is he today? How is he doing? Does he even know that he has a sister that would love the opportunity to meet him?

I married a man that has 9 siblings; therefore, I have inherited 6 brothers and 3 sisters. I have been blessed to become a member of such a big family. I acknowledge that fact, yet I still have a vacancy deep inside for the brother that I have not yet met. Where is he today? How is he doing? Does he even know that he has a sister that would love the opportunity to meet him?

Those questions will linger until the day arrives and I finally meet my brother. The hollowness remains. The years have been lost and cannot be regained. No memories from our youthful years. Still hope has not vanished for the remaining years. Where is he today? How is he doing? Does he even know that he has a sister that would love the opportunity to meet him?

Learn more about this author, Ann Nelson-Russell.
Click here to send this author comments or questions.