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Things to consider when choosing a baby name

by Vicki Brown

Shakespeare said, "A rose by any other name would smell as sweet." That may be true but a child's name is too important to be given without a lot of thought. There are books with hundreds of names for girls and for boys. That seems cold to me.

Many families have traditions about naming the first child or the first son or daughter. My mother's family has such a tradition. The first daughter is named either Nora or Victoria. So, my grandmother was Victoria, my mom is Nora, I am Victoria, my daughter is Nora, and my granddaughter is Eleanore Victoria. Two family traditions melded into a beautiful name and there is no confusion.

This is my opinion and I have experience with it, do not give sons one generation after the other the same first name. My dad was Ken, my brother was Kenny and then Ken, and my nephew is Kenny. There were times when I had to tell my mom to please specify to which "Ken" she was referring. When my brother's older son and his wife had their first baby daughter they named her Hope Elizabeth. Hope for my nephew's mom and Elizabeth for his wife's mom.

When I told me granddaughter what they had named the baby she said, "Don't those people know there are other names?" Their second daughter they named Katherine.

So a name can be confusing or it can be so different that nobody knows how to pronounce it or spell it. I've noticed that more traditional names are making a come back. I'm glad to see that. But, I'm a traditional person. I buy classic styles in clothes that won't get dated. I'm the same with names. One year Caitlin would have been the most popular name except there were so many different spellings that each iteration got a fraction of the vote.

First names are important. Your child will have this name for his/her whole life. So something that sounds "cute" for a baby may not be so cute on the playground or in the boardroom. That's why classic names are best.

When deciding on a first name, say it out loud. How does it sound? Now say it out loud with your last name. Still sound good? Put a long 'e' at the end and then say it out loud with your last name and without. What you need to do is try to find some corruption of the name that the bullies would come up with.

Now, how will the name sound when called at your child's High School graduation. This will include middle names so put all three names together and say them out loud. Are you proud or appalled? My oldest son's name is Andrew Carroll. He hated his middle name and insisted that he be called Andrew C. Smith at graduation. Both sets of grandparents were there and his name was from my mother-in-law's family. Andrew was her grandfather's name and Carroll was her father's name. Imagine my relief when they called out "Andrew Carroll Smith".

It wasn't until he was in his thirties that I told him where the Carroll came from. He called to ask how to spell Carroll for his graduation from grad. school. I spelled it for him and he said that's not a girl's name. I asked him if he really thought we had given him a girl's name. He said that he had which is why he hated it. I explained that it was his grandmother's father's name. Suddenly he felt proud to have a name from her family, well two but he'd always known where we got Andrew. I was stunned that I had never told him where Carroll came from.

Now think about your child's future and how his/her name will look on business cards or what kind of impression it will give prospective employers. My three kids are Andrew Carroll, who is an architect, his name will look good on the plaque of the famous building he'll design. Our younger son is Timothy Edward or Tim. For some reason he thought his name was Tim and we called him Timmy as a nickname. Tim E. Smith looked pretty lame on his checks and all his mail. I told him his real name is Timothy. He didn't know that. My sons really aren't as clueless as they sound. Tim graduated Summa Cum Laude and was Phi Beta Kappa. He's a professor. Its just names that they don't get.

As I said, keeping a family tradition we named our daughter Nora. My husband wasn't thrilled about it. He actually hated Nora. The name not the child. I told him he could choose her middle name and that's what we would call her. He chose Katherine and wanted to call her Katie. I cringed because there were so many Katy's at the time. After she was born, my husband took one look at her and said she was a Nora not a Katy. He was right. Nora Katherine or Nora K. as we called her when she was little has done well and her name looks very good on her company's letterhead. She's the Chief Operating Officer.

I don't know if their names had anything to do with their success but I know they didn't hurt. Oh, a word about naming second, third, and fourth (God Bless you) children, I wrote their names on a Christmas card to see how it looked. Andrew, Tim, and Nora looked good and sounded nice.

Or you can throw caution to the winds and make up a name. Just be prepared for your child's displeasure with his/her name and the resultant hatred of you. But that's going to happen at some point about something you did wrong. They grow out of that by the way. It may take 25 or 30 years but eventually they tell you that you did a pretty good job.

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