by Cathy A Montville

Created on: September 06, 2008   Last Updated: October 03, 2011

Now that I am in my 50s, I have a lot less anxiety about life. As I aged, I tried my best to lay the appropriate groundwork for the future. I wanted to sail into my 50s full steam ahead. The squeeze I do feel, though, comes from outer issues, which are not of my making at all.

Adult Children/Aging Parents

I was not mindful that a point would exist, where I would be sandwiched between my adult children and aging parents. This was not in the manuals I read. I can certainly write my own book about it now. The layers of life are multifaceted: Often, it isn’t just yourself, you have to plan for.

Forever a Parent

When my kids were little, their tribulations were miniature. Everything was easy to resolve. Hurt feelings or broken hearts were easily mended with kisses, hugs, or chocolate-chip cookies. An extra scoop of ice cream and fifty cents gave the kids the strength to get on with their lives.

Now, they are adults. Their setbacks are not so easily settled. No amount of cookies in the world can replace a lost job. Fifty cents will not pay the rent, nor can it put food on the table. Add to the mix the children they now have to provide for.

Aging Parent

A few years ago, my husband and I found ourselves paying two mortgages. My mother was very sick. She was unable to pay her bills. We had no clue how we were going to do it, but we bought her house. That gave her the peace she deserved. After she died, we decided to move into my mom's house. That was where I grew up. I also lived there during a trying time in my life.

It was a difficult choice. My husband and I had just completed extensive renovations on our home. We loved it dearly. However, of the two homes, that was the house that would be easy to sell. The sale would put a nice chunk of change in our pocket. We thought of it as money for our future retirement.

Hold that Thought

Selling the house would never happen, though. My daughter and son-in-law were renting an apartment. The property owner increased the rent to an amount they knew they could no longer afford.

I had an empty house. We had not had the chance to put it on the real estate market yet. Of course, my conscience would not permit me to let them begin the tedious process of finding a new place to live.

Being my children, I also went weak in the knees when it came to the amount of rent they were to pay to live in our house. Comparatively, by rental standards in Massachusetts, we decided on an amount was below the average cost to rent.  With

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