by Timothy Ijala

Created on: September 06, 2008

The title first of all makes what I believe is a very general statement. Some people think that they cannot have something when in reality they can have it if they put forth the effort,made the time and adopted a positive attitude. That is why so many books have been written to help people see and achieve their potential. Books like You Can If You Think You Can by Dr Peale and Goals by Brain Tracy and The Power Of Focus by Jack Canfield all prove this and show you ways in which you can get what you've always wanted.

However if we must approach this issue from a general point of view it reminds me of the story of the dog that had a bone in its mouth and went to the river. It saw its own reflection in the water and the bone in its mouth was part of the reflection. Jumping into the water to get the 'other'bone it lost the one it had. If it was a human we would say it serves the person right for being greedy. Thats exactly what we would call it and thats exactly the reason why some people always want what they cannot have. They are greedy. They are not content with what they have. They feel that what the other person has that they don't have is the better. And they go after it and sometimes end up losing even what they have.

Another reason is external influences like advertising. These influences make you feel like what you have is not good enough and unless you get what is being advertised you will never be happy or you are really missing out on something. That is why you find some people going on certain diets so that they can have the perfect bodies or they spend lots of money so that they can look like so and so which in reality is never possible.Therefore in the end they never really get what they are told will bring them the ultimate happiness or if they do get it it doesn't bring them the happiness they thought they would get.

The feeling of wanting to belong can be another reason why people always want what they cannot have. It might be the neighbourhood where one lives or the friends that one moves with who make you feel that unless you have what they have you can never be a part of them. Along with that goes ones self esteem or self worth. Some people feel like their self worth is measured by what other people think of them. So if their neighbours or friends say that to belong they must have this and that they go along and really try to get those things not because they really need them or can even afford them but because they have that desire to belong and to be accepted. This is really true with young people but even as adults you may find this to be the case.It reminds me of a comedy called Keeping up appearances where the lady of the house was always trying to show her neighbours that she lived this high life and had this very important friends because that was what defined her, that was what defined her self worth.

The best thing is to be content, be happy with what you have. You may find as is shown in the book Acres of Diamonds that what you really want is just in your backyard or around you and you do not have to frustrate yourself by trying to get what you do not or can never have.

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