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A best friend is someone that knows you well, understands you (or at least tries to), and someone you can really, truly trust. I can't say my ex and I are best friends because he doesn't know everything about me, nor I of him (and I think that's for the best!). He didn't try to understand me while we were together so I don't think he will try being apart. And well, to be honest, I didn't understand him either (still don't!). He's just that type of person that's difficult to understand since he changes more than a chameleon. And so as for trust, well, how can you trust a man that betrayed and lied as much as he has? But things change when your ex is also the father of your child. There has to be some kind of compromise, no question.

After years of arguing and hurting each other, my ex and I have finally reached a point where we can actually have a conversation very much like friends. I don't try to understand him, instead, I except him for who he is. I don't trust him completely but I can trust that he loves our son deeply and will do anythig for him.

So, is it possible for an ex to become your best friend? I do think it's possible. But I think it's more possible to just be civil with one another. There is no need to be "best" friends but at least have some type of understanding, especially when children are involved.

Get prepared to not be understood by others, though. Many people just don't believe you can remain friends with an ex. I have had people ask me if I was back with my husband simply for standing next to him or getting a ride in his car. And many have said that after the damage that he's done to our marriage, he's lucky I even talk to him. But I'm not a revengeful person. What's done is done. He's made his mistakes and I've made mine. What's important now and always will be is my son. And if having his mom and dad in the same room without fighting once in awhile makes him happy, then so be it. It's worth the look on his face.

And so, yes, a friendship can and should occur. Children should never be put in the middle or forced to choose (unless there is abuse or neglect going on). It's not fair to anyone when selfishness becomes the focus instead of what truly matters. So, be friends with your ex. He was once someone very special in your life, so why not? And as long as there is the understanding that nothing more than friendship will occur, I think it's ok. But, if the person brings you more trouble than peace, it's just best to get them out of your life completely, that goes for anyone, ex or not.

Learn more about this author, Alexa Rosa.
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