by Sadiyya Patel

Created on: September 06, 2008

Each and every interaction with your child provides you with an opportunity to teach her positive, constructive and wholesome values.

Children pick up values through their daily interactions with us. You may think of teaching values to your children as taking them to Church on a Sunday, or giving them a a lecture on the evils of lying, or encouraging them to share with their friends. But values are also taught through simple, daily activities.

Values are more "caught" than "taught". Children learn through the example we set for them, whether that example is positive or negative. For example, when we lie and tell our children to say that we're not home when we don't want to speak on the phone, we are teaching them that it's okay to lie. How can we expect our kids to be honest, then?

Some parents operate from the premise of "Do as I say, not as I do." But this sets you up to be nothing more than a hypocrite, instead of the good example you should strive to be. If you want you children to listen to you and to look up to you, then you need to walk your talk.

But that doesn't mean that you have to be perfect. Children also learn through the values that you are striving to incorporate into your own life. You don't need to have mastered a value before you can teach it to your kids. Say, for example, that you never placed a very high value on taking care of your health, and as such, you are several pounds overweight and have developed numerous physical ailments. But you've decided to change all that and have started making healthier food choices as well as exercising regularly. You children see you making an effort to become healthier and this will inspire them to develop healthy habits of their own.

Kids also learn values through the activities that you all participate in as a family. For example, if you spend a lot of time playing sport, outdoors in nature, volunteering or reading, then these are what our children attach importance to and learn to value.

Children absorb values and beliefs through exposure to the world around them as well. Friends, extended family members, books, the media and the community you live in all play a role in the values your child integrates.

Lastly, children learn values through our explanation of the world around them. No matter how much we would like to, we cannot control the world around us. You child might sometimes be exposed to things that you wish he wasn't, such as hearing foul language.

But all isn't lost. You can help kids to understand and gain perspective by explaining the situation to them.

Teaching your child wholesome, constructive values is too important a task to leave to chance. Take a proactive approach and start instilling positive values in your child today.

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