by Sylvia Woodham

Created on: September 06, 2008   Last Updated: September 12, 2008

Choices

She knew she was at a crossroads in her life. She felt like she had been going in circles for a while now, not necessarily solving any of the problems in her life or learning anything new, but having fun! Maybe that was new for her... it was hard for her to tell. Had she known how to have fun before, or was she trying to escape something?

Her life hadn't been that hard, so why did she feel so lost now? Her parents did so much for her and gave her everything they could, so why had her life unravelled like this? Why did she feel so unprepared for the harshness of reality? Had she really been THAT sheltered?

She had lost her train of thought a long time ago, back when the train passed through Greenwich and she could finally feel the New York losing it's hold on her. Now she found herself wandering aimlessly through the rolling thoughts in her mind that she didn't have time to visit very often... she needed to escape the city, but what was that thought that she was trying to escape something else? Was she really ready to find out she hadn't been honest with herself - or anyone else?

If she had been lying, how many people knew it? How many people had she lied to - not necessarily about events, those were plain enough... but she was not so good at unveiling the truth about what she wanted. Why should she? She'd been taught to pretend they didn't exist for a long time, because what she should want was to be attractive to everyone else! And maybe who she was wasn't good enough for that.

NO! What was she saying? She knew who she was! She was successful and talented, and there was nobody who could take that away from her. She had gotten through Columbia J school on her own, and had a hit list of front page headlines. But she knew she'd been slipping lately, and it was like she had been asleep when the most obvious stories had fallen in her lap and slipped her notice. Who really new her here? No one knew where she came from or her story. They just saw her success. Her relationships were getting less and less successful, even though she had been able to find confidence in dating again... after...

"Selena! Over here!" Her aunt caught her sleepwalking through the train platform... But her always warm embrace was just what Selena needed to let this anxiety melt away. They drove back to her farm exchanging niceties. Aunt Fanny had lived a cutting-edge life of adventure, for herself and no-one else. It had taken her 40 years to find a man who could keep up with her, and she

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