by Luann Dawkins

Created on: September 04, 2008

Rudeness in Today's society

When I was a child some 36 years ago, I was taught to always be polite to my elders. My father instilled in me a sense of foreboding and fear of God is I didn't act accordingly. Don't get me wrong, my Daddy was the one who hung the sun moon and stars as far as I was concerned. But, he was very strict with manners and the way I conducted myself at home and in public.

I was taught a deep respect for other people and to take pride in being polite, kind and helpful. I treasure each one of those lessons to this day. My daughter is also grateful since I passed that abundant and wise knowledge down to her. When she was a child, she was a joy to be around and I don't ever remember another adult cringing at the site of her, like I see so often today.

My thoughts to this subject have been pondered for quit some time and I have observed many families and their interactions with each other and strangers alike. I have come to the conclusion that parents today are letting their children get away with murder as respects to the family. There is no respect within the family unit, so how can there be respect outside of that unit?

I have a nephew that used to come to our house to ride the jet skis and boats when he was 14. I had observed him telling his parents to "shut up" before and was aghast when they did nothing about the behavior. One particular day he was sitting on the sofa watching tv when I asked him to take out the trash. He replied, "ain't my trash you take it out." After my head stopped spinning around I said, "you have been riding the toys at this house all day and you will get up and take this trash to the can outside or you will never come back to this house. And furthermore, do not ever speak to me in that tone or that rudely again. Your parents can put up with that kind of talk if they like, but I assure you I won't tolerate it in my home. Now move!"

From that day forward my nephew spoke to me with politeness and reverence. I mentioned the episode to my sister in law and she said "why did you make him take out the trash?" I was stunned that the only concern of hers was the trash and that she thought nothing of this child back talking me in my own home. If my child had done that she would have been grounded for months.

I believe that teens push the envelope and want to know where the boundaries are, and once they find out, they respect those limits. My concern is that parents have gotten soft and think everything their little angel does is cute. It is not cute to be talked back to, or to hear yea and no instead of yes ma'am and no ma'am. When did that become uncool with parents?

I also believe the disintegration of the teenage wardrobe is partly to blame. In my day you had to wear nice clothes to school as a sign of respect for the teacher. Now, poor teachers all over the country have to look at underwear and butt cracks all day. I remember trying to assert my independence as a teenager, I put on skin tight jeans with a grubby t-shirt and earth shoes, I had a headband around my head and a comb sticking up out of my back pocket. I walked into the kitchen for breakfast and my parents started to laugh. Daddy said, "good try kiddo, now turn around and go put on what you are allowed to wear to school".

That was the end of my independence till I paid my own bills. I am now older and have learned those hard lessons once and for all. To this day, at 42 years of age, I say yes ma'am and no ma'am to my elders. Good manners, politeness and respect last a lifetime.

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