by Alita Mccaleb

Created on: September 04, 2008

Tornado (for April)

Twist again
as I sit here impatiently waiting
it seems like I'm always putting myself on hold
for you.
And you said this was love
as you played your games
and even though I'm your queen
I'm still just a chess piece, and
you prey on my insecurities like a black widow
with a painted-on smile...
Remember when we were in love,
you say sadly,
Remember how you let me down?

I remember
your eyes, your arms, your shaved head,
your soft lips, your full breasts
how could I have hesitated?
But that's past now, and past mistakes
shouldn't dictate my life.

And you said this was love
as you used me in the name of beauty,
as you raped me in the name of passion,
and you got what you wanted in the end
because it's always been
all about you.

I remember holding you around your waist
as you read love poems to me,
as your lip piercing glinted in the light
was that the sword you used to kill me,
to bend me to your will,
those lips so passionate
yet so painful?

Are all my happy rememberings
just calculated moves by you
and did you ever love me
or am I a fool?

My favorite thing you said was,
I feel like a jester
and the world's laughing at me
Am I the intruder, looking in?
Your words seemed so real then, so honest and open,
but as soon as you feel threatened
the winds kick up
and dust flies into my eyes as you
Twist again
playing goddess on a whim
expecting to uproot lives and have it your way...
I'm done with it now.
I'm not a puppet to be manipulated
I cut my strings loose for good this time.

What we had was beautiful,
but what you are is not,
so I'm finally taking shelter
from the storm.

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