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I use the words of the wonderful REM song, to open this article.

"Everybody hurts, everybody cries, everybody hurts, sometime....You're not alone..hold on."

By realizing that your pain is something that many others will understand, as most of humanity has endured pain and hurt, you will begin to feel less isolated. Once you accept that you are not alone, then you can start to hope for a way out of cutting yourself. That may sound too simple, or even too hard to do, but it is the first tiny step on the road to recovering yourself. Believe in yourself, know that you have the power to make choices, and the choice is to stop. Here are some ways to make that first step take you further along the road to freedom.

KNOW YOURSELF: The old saying "knowledge is power" is so true for this situation. Take a little notebook and when you feel the need to cut, write down your innermost feelings and thoughts, and your reason for wanting to do the cutting at that moment. Record everything, state clearly your feelings, what you did and why. Over a few weeks or months, you will be able to identify patterns in your behaviour, begin to see what triggers you to cut, and look for ways to change the pattern.

TALK TO SOMEBODY YOU TRUST: This could be a friend, a professional, a family member. But think of the REM song and know that you will be understood. Tell them exactly why and how you feel the way you do. That person will be there for you, supporting you; do not be afraid to ask for help. You deserve it, you are a worthwhile person, you just need to find a better way to ease the pain.

NEVER BLAME YOURSELF: You have to see what a good and valuable person you are, it is not your fault that you feel so bad. To help improve your self-image and esteem, make a list of your good qualities. Put all your feelings in writing too, turn the negatives to positives, affirm yourself. For example:

"I never have much to contribute to a conversation," CAN and SHOULD become:

"I am a good listener, I give others the chance to have their say."

Make lots of stickers with positive "CAN DO" affirmations and put them where you can see them, like on your computer or desk or fridge and so on. Ask your friends what they think your good points are and write these down. Look at them often and believe in yourself, build your confidence and self esteem.

LOOK AFTER YOUR HEALTH: Yes, de-stress yourself with plenty of rest and a good night's sleep, a healthy diet and some exercise. Relax with a good book, learn a language,

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