by Whitney Levon

Created on: September 03, 2008   Last Updated: November 25, 2008

When I tell people that my son has autism, most people don't know exactly what autism is. It seems odd, considering that it so prevalent in the news. When asked to explain, I can't even define it. Maybe its because every child with autism is different. It isn't like having a physical ailment where symptoms are clearly defined. I tend to shy away from these questions only because I don't want to hear the responses I know that I am going to get. Either they are going to ask if my son is like Rain Man, or they are going to ask what he is a genius at.

Most people who have some basic understanding, or have at least heard of autism, ask what special skills he has mastered. They are almost disappointed when I say that he doesn't have some magical gift that no one else in this world could possibly have. I tell them he is smart and funny, and they all seem to say, "oh." I can handle this on my better days, I walk away on my worst. Its as though it would be o.k. with them if he had autism as long as he could count cards or play Mozart.

These are not the people that upset me the most. The people that hurt my soul are the ones who stare, who ask why I can't control my child when he is having a bad day. They are the ones that scold him for not speaking to them when he is spoken to. These are the people who tell him he is being a bad boy, like they are his parents.

Then, there are the truly ignorant people. These are the people who insist that he doesn't have autism, or any other problem. I should give him a good spanking (read beating) and that will knock some sense into him. I truly feel sorry for their children if that is their outlook on parenting.

The reality is that my son is a beautiful person who has a happy life. He has good days and bad, just like anyone else. He can't tell you if he is upset or sad, so he shows it in the best way he knows how. His friends and family know this. We plan ahead for worst-case scenarios when we are out. We make sure that he follows his routine, gets a good education, and learns all the skills he needs to live as independent of a life as he chooses.

I look at people who judge my baby, and I feel so many things. I am sorry for them, that they don't understand what a joy it is when he reaches a milestone that he has worked years to achieve. I am angry at them for taking their children for granted. I am confused by people who can't look at my son and see him for anything other than autism. I am hopeful that someday they will see a child with his problems and treat him like a child.

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