by Jennifer Wells

Created on: September 03, 2008   Last Updated: October 31, 2008

I was a virgin for twenty-one years, and have never been ashamed of that fact. I was raised in a home where abstinence was taught and encouraged, and went on to a college that encouraged the same practice. Did this guarantee my virginity? Not by a long shot; however, I learned an important lesson early in my life which sustained me through those years: I am valuable.

My parents were very supportive of my sisters and me growing up. We did not lack for attention and praise from either our mother or our father. There were many times when my sisters and I would collectively tackle our dad, and he would obligingly fall to the ground and join in the fun. As we got older, he did not withdraw his attention from us. Especially important, he did not change his attentions or affections into anything inappropriate.

There was no need for extra male attention because my dad gave us exactly the right kind in the right amount. Each of us realized that we were unique and special, and that spilled over into our expectations of sexuality. If we were to be married, then out there somewhere was a man who would value us enough to be worth the wait. We had also been protected from seeing too much too early, and had witnessed a daily example of what marriage can be. These things taught us that relationships were meant to be both special and lasting. In fact, when I met and fell in love with my husband, we were many months into our engagement before either of us realized we would be taking that first big step together.

I was twenty-one and he was twenty-six. Just the fact that we had both made it to those ages is astounding to some, but when the opportunity had presented itself before then, it was not something we really wanted. It also helped that neither of us had ever kissed any other people, because once we discovered kissing for ourselves, touching and sex became a very real temptation.

I have gone a little bit long without getting to the point, so here it is. Once we finally chose to move into that experience, it was pure and beautiful. There were no doubts about performance, no comparison of partners past, no fear of illness or disease being spread between us. We learned together even as we discovered one another, and were comfortable enough to be honest about which experiences we enjoyed or preferred.

There is so much pressure towards sex today. Television, movies, games, magazines and the internet are all so infused with it that it is impossible to ignore. Peer pressure is increasingly

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