13 of 140

Write now Article Tools

There have been times over the years when I think of something my own Mom said to me after a white mouse crawled up her leg: "I hope someday you have a child just like you." Words of prophecy or words of doom, I have a child that is very much like me yet we are different. Before Denise was born she kept me waiting because she was doing a summer salt in utero: she has always been late. Then she entered the world, the Doctor had exactly five minutes to get his hands encased in gloves and deliver her. After that day every day became an adventure living with Denise, the Meneese, as her Grandmother used to call her.

When Denise entered the "terrible twos" I should have requested hazard pay, I needed it! I was out in the kitchen cooking dinner, and Denise had gotten very quiet, this was not a good thing to begin with, any time she was quiet it was time to investigate what she was doing. I could hear her laughing in the bathroom, I put the dinner on low: before I got into the adjoining hall there was water coming out of the bathroom. There she stood feeding toilet paper into the toilet and flushing it; she was having herself a good old time, she was standing in about an inch of water. The toilet was overflowing, what a mess that was, it took me over an hour to mop up the water and plunge the toilet! So much for my parenting skills that day.

Denise entered the "terrible threes" with a bang. She learned to lock the back door of the house, she was so proud of herself but then she discovered that she was locked in the house and Mom was locked outside. I had taken out the garbage, and of coarse it was snowing and cold. I went to open the back door to come back in when I discovered I was locked out. I tapped on the window of the door, and Denise looked up and smiled at me. That was cute I thought but how am I going to get back inside; what ensued was every parents training under fire. I asked Denise to unlock the door, which she did, but she could not grasp the concept that she needed to pull the lock out before she opened the door. There I stood cold and cranky, Denise laughing at the top of her lungs: "Ha ha Mommy, you look funny!" After roughly a half hour I finally came up with the solution: I went to the car and retrieved my spare house key. So much for firm parenting.

We got through Denise turning four with just one minor incident that still sticks in my memory. Denise always the helpful child came into the living room one afternoon and asked me how to turn on the

• 1
• 2
• next page >>

Add your voice

Know something about Humor: Parenting?
We want to hear your view. Write now!