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I have been a manager in retail for twelve very long years. I have done hundreds, maybe even thousands, of job interviews. Most people who come in to be interviewed have at least a very basic knowledge of what goes down at one of these things, but there are so many that don't. I wanted to share some of my favorite interview-gone-bad adventures. Maybe you were just about to make one of these mistakes before hopping off to a future employer, so I am going to consider this a public service message.

The Bad Outfit: Many people come to job interviews in jeans, especially for retail jobs. I have begun to get used to it, and I will no longer hold it against the candidate during the decision-making process usually. One girl came in for a rather lackluster interview. I ended the meeting by letting her know that her application would be on file, and thanked her for coming in. When she got up to leave, I noticed that her jeans were encrusted with rhinestones on the back, rhinestones that spelled out the word, "Bootylicious." I managed to stifle my laughter until she left. Lesson to readers: Be tasteful about what might be emblazoned across your bottom when interviewing for a job.

The Drug Test: My employer requires that all new employees undergo pre-employment drug testing. This is pretty common these days, and most applicants don't have a problem with it. There are the few exceptions. There was the young man who indicated that he had been partying for the last few weeks, and asked me "friend-to-friend" what the best way to cheat on the drug test would be. Lesson to readers: quit doing crack at least 24 hours before any job interview.

The Criminal Background Check: I never think twice when explaining to people that they will need to sign a release for a background check. Perhaps this is because I have never been arrested, so I don't know how it feels to have to put on an application that I have a criminal record. I do get people who explain that they were arrested when they were sixteen for some sort of petty vandalism, or something similar. I tell these people that they have nothing to worry about. Then I met The Check-Kiter. Her admission of criminality came out when I asked her a question about integrity in the workplace. She then proceeded to tell me about the time that she stole a co-worker's checkbook and started writing checks at several local stores, but that it was o.k. because she had gone to jail for it. Lesson to readers: Don't tell future employers that you

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