I have had my heart broken by the best in the business. Women who were perfectly sexy, interesting and personable. Whose physical flaws were wonderful because they proved they were in fact human just like me. Whose less than admirable qualities took on a loving tint and became quirky character traits. That is why the eventual failures of these relationships was all the more astounding and gut wrenching. You see, I was dating the perfect woman every time.

They say the mind is its own place and can make a hell out of heaven or a heaven out of hell. I think this is true and that this theme applies itself to relationships as well. I think in this case having a good imagination can be both a blessing and a curse.

I have noticed in my own life a trend of starting out in a relationship as the one who cares less and then by the end of it being the one who cares far more. Though I suppose you could argue I am just that unappealing I think there is more to it than that. I think in my case one of the reasons why I tend to get more attached to the people I date than they do to me is because I am actively supporting them with a good imagination. Enriching their actions, adding an epic feel to the otherwise ordinay events of the day, etc.

We really cannot ever fully know one another so to some extent every one of us who is involved in a relationship is dating an idea, unless you are telepathic. We have to fill in the blanks and there is always a certain element of mystery involved. Nonetheless, there are always signs present as to the true nature of the person you are dating and sometimes "needing" them to be perfect causes us to blur the line between reality and fantasy.

I remember dating a girl who I cared about deeply but had one giant red flag-treating her mother horribly in front of me. She would belittle her mercilessly and it really blew mymind how someone who seemed so nice otherwise could be so cruel to the one who brought her into this world. But I chalked it up to youthful rebellion and shifted my focus to her good qualities.

I think the idea of her being nice was part of my Ideal Girl fantasy and thus I focused on those elements. Even mean girls have ncie moments, right? I think that is exactly the danger of dating an idea rather than reality and how it manifests itself most tangibly. We develop our opinions on people depending on the information we have but when you have conflicting information your perception of them is determined by which

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