3 of 20

Write now Article Tools

I have been what one might consider a "tomboy" for the better part of my life. Although in recent years I have traded my sneakers for stilettos, I continue to find myself with a longer list of male friends than female friends.

In college, I lived in a six-bedroom house with five guys. Needless to say, as much as I loved my boys, I knew every single one of their dirty secrets; from how many times a week they showered (unsurprisingly infrequently), to their actual (aka not cut in half) number of one night stands.

In any case, what I learned from living with five college-aged males (other than how to do a thirty-second keg stand without breaking a sweat or puking) was how to identify a "player" in the dating game.

All guys want to be him, and all girls absolutely hate him. He is the player: the all too cocky, frequently smooth talking, good looking, funny guy whose smile makes panties drop from a mile away. Although the "player" is usually fun to have around for a laugh, no woman in her right mind knowingly and willingly inserts herself in a relationship with a known "player." Typically, women are (surprise, surprise) played. In other words, the "player" does everything in his power to convince her that he either a) will change his player ways because he loves her and wants to be with her so much, or b) is actually a genuine guy deep down but puts forth an act so that he can maintain his reputation as a "man's man."

Sometimes women make the mistake of believing that a guy who spits out stereotypical pick up lines is a player, when in reality, he is usually a "wannabe." These guys are easy to spot, typically go out in a group of guys, and are rarely seen alone. They are also often as easily rejected as they are spotted, so most women who know their way around the dating scene are not all too concerned with this kind of "player."

The two aforementioned player goals, however, can easily be adapted to classify the two kinds of legitimate player that is out looking for prey on the dating field.

The first kind of player is the "upfront player." This guy usually has a reputation of being a player, and likely preys on unsuspecting victims who he has not known previously, and can easily manipulate into thinking that the reputation that far exceeds him is in fact false. When a reputation develops about a guy, there is usually a good reason for it, and unless he can move mountains to prove himself to you, I would be extremely cautious about dating any upfront players. This

• 1
• 2
• 3
• next page >>

Add your voice

Know something about How to identify a player in the dating game?
We want to hear your view. Write now!