by Chris Ferguson

Created on: September 01, 2008

"They Smile In Your Face..." Yep, every office has one, or a few. They're like weeds: they're everywhere and sometimes it's hard to cut them off at the root. They have absolutely no self-confidence, no self-esteem, no life outside the workplace and feel the need to build up their "ego" in order to "feel important" or to "look good" to their supervisor. What they don't get is that Nothing Goes Unchecked in this world.

I worked with a back-stabber and believe me, it was no joke. She got pleasure stirring up trouble, then would take the next day off-self-evident of guilt. When I first started working there, one day there was a very bad icy winter storm that got worse by the second. You couldn't even see outside-whiteout conditions. The supervisor didn't come in, so another associate was in charge. At the time I didn't know that person was next in rank. She told us we could leave early due to the storm and I didn't waste any time getting out. The next day I was called down to Personnel and told "That person wasn't in charge; therefore I shouldn't have listened to her and left." I asked "Why was I called down here since the supervisor was out and another associate said it was ok to leave?" No valid answer. Found out later that after 2 of us left, coworker walked, no, ran downstairs to Personnel and told them "We left early." I had to work one hr. over daily to make up for those 7 hours all because Personnel took the word of my back-stabbing coworker over the word of one of the associates. Was I angry? No, because I realized right then exactly who I'd be working with.

How did I tolerate and "get along" with this person? Easy. I literally sat back and studied her without her knowing it, paid her compliments now and then regarding her clothes but at the same time ignored her, was never confrontational or competitive with her not because I was afraid of her, but because I had enough self-confidence not to, kept my eye on the prize of doing the best job to my ability, earning the respect of other coworkers, supervisors and even maintenance, maintained a life outside the workplace that helped to ease the pain of having to deal with this toxic person, and never complained-that would have made me look like a whiner and given her the satisfaction that "she ran me out and won." I wasn't about to let her decide when I should leave-that's either for me, or my supervisor to decide.

Don't let a back-stabber get the best of you-that's what they thrive on. They love playing schoolyard games that belong in a schoolyard. Keep focused on your job, be as pleasant as you can be, don't be confrontational, don't compete and you'll keep your value as a person intact, ready for the next job adventure that comes along, regardless of how many dysfunctionals there may (or, if you're lucky) may not be.

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