by Lesley Rigg

Created on: September 01, 2008   Last Updated: March 13, 2009

You are just about to set off to meet someone you've never come across before. Now, I'm sure you trust your friend's judgement in the area of trustworthiness and reliability, but nonetheless you are a woman, and as such you need to put your safety and security first.

No matter that this person is known to others, they may not have intimate knowledge of the person. They could just be someone of quite short aquaintance, someone they know through work or through another friend. The key therefore is to take the same sort of precautions you would if you were meeting an online person for the same time. Play safe.

This would include, letting a couple of friends or family members know where you are. You may even want to have someone you know drop you off at the date so that they can see where you are, and who you are with. None of this should be apparent to your date by the way, but you do need to look after yourself.

The safety stuff out of the way, you can try to enjoy your evening now. Next turn your attention to what you are going to wear. This is incredibly important for most women, but this is something you are probably doing for yourself as your date may not notice unless it is skin tight or a skirt slashed to the waist! It is more how you feel about yourself that counts.

Don't wear these I hasten to add unless it is your normal garb. What you wear is to make you feel more confident, comfortable and attractive, and that is the element that your date will notice.

The aura you give off about yourself. Don't try and reinvent yourself for the evening, it will make you feel uncomfortable and also be a bit strange if you get to date 2 and you go from vampy red lipstick to no make up and your hair in a scrunchie!

The other thing you need to wear, and frequently throughout the evening is a smile! Smiling is a human being's way of showing that they bear those they meet no malice. You want to encouorage that sort of thinking really don't you?

Body language is crucial throughout your date, and being able to meet someone's eyes, shaking their hand and smiling is not just good practice for interviews. It opens up your personal space for anyone you meet and allow them to come away thinking you are a friendly, confident person who is comfortable with herself.

Finally focus on your date. No-one wants to date someone who spends the entire first time you meet harboring on an ex-relationship or giving intricate detail of their life as a soccer-mom. You need to coax out of the person opposite you things that will help you both make up your mind about each other, and show you off to your utmost potential.

Don't worry about asking questions, and the date not finding out anything about you. If they are promising material, they will be interested in what you have to say, and will be asking questions as well as responding to yours. It is just that information that is presented in response to your date's questions will be better received than if you just monologue to fill in any awkward silences.

Finally, we move towards paying the bill at the end of the evening. This is a contentious issue, and I have heard many views on this subject. However, it still remains in this day and age that men like to chase and don't seem to appreciate anything that is won too easily. Therefore, if they are quick to offer to pay the bill then let them.

It is part of their signaling that they would like to consider it a date and not just a meeting. Just make sure that you give in graciously and say that you will pay on the next occasion. Chances are there will be a next occasion.

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