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How relationships act as mirrors to reveal who we are

by j. staffeld

Created on: September 01, 2008

When the master poet, Dylan Thomas, wrote of love in his poem: "Sometimes the Sky's Too Bright", he wished to explore not what is within "Love" that consumed people so, but what it is within ourselves that we discover in the ones in which we choose to love. How does it seem, so many times, that when you truly give up on that rather self-centric search for "Love", that is when the very thing that you had been searching for finds you?




It's funny sometimes... the shifting sands and changing winds. Sometimes life seems too intense, or precise, yet completely majestic in its incontainability. That gaze into a lover's eyes can seem to reveal less of her, but more of yourself within her.




Such may be the very balance that nature holds over us all; that natural, never-ending roller-coaster of life that always seems to twist in all the right ways when one least expects it. Even when the anticipated turn is in sight there is always that surprise inside as your body pulls through and submits itself to things far too powerful for it alone to control.




There are, however, many other ways of exploring how relationships act as mirrors of ourselves beyond the esoteric allusions within poetry.




Another lesson that a relationship can potentially open our eyes to is essentially how we allow others to understand us. The human being is a great work of fiction and each of us are our own accomplished authors. All of us, consciously or even subconsciously, communicate certain aspects of who we are to those around us. While I do not believe that we intentionally attempt to mislead others, I believe we act as our own filters for many reasons (comfortability, safety, manners, or simply because time does not allow an accurate autobiography for all people we communicate with).




Beyond simple acquaintance, a relationship builds upon what we knowingly communicate while being reciprocated with the analysis of someone seeing deeper within us. A closed-off person will learn little to nothing from this more intimate moment of mirroring, but someone receptive to their significant-other's critique of themselves will learn valuable insight into just who exactly they are passing themselves off as to others.



There are lessons that are tremendously valuable in learning more about yourself through the eyes of the one looking deepest into you. It takes someone comfortable enough with themselves to truly and objectively discover a more well-rounded and profound version of the person they truly are. All it takes is the right set of eyes.

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