by Michelle Alexander

Created on: August 31, 2008

It's easy to think that the only people manage to find true love are beautiful, rich, or have an acute awareness of human nature that makes you wish they could somehow transfer their knowledge from their brain to yours. You see them at bars, or even shopping in the frozen food isle. You are instantly drawn to them, and even if they are drinking or shopping solo, you assume that their lover is out there somewhere, probably waiting their return. Why do we think this? Why do we assume they aren't single, and why are we naturally drawn to them? The answer really isn't as complex as it may seem. Confidence.

We have all heard that communication is mostly non verbal, and some may not understand how true that really is. We all radiate energy, and it's not some funky new age concept without any roots in reality. We are able to tell if someone is sad just by looking at them. Physically everything may seem fine. Their eyes are dry, their posture is erect, and they may even tell you "I'm fine." But somehow we are able to tell that they are not fine for a reason we may not fully be able to put our finger on. We picked up on their negative energy. We have also been around people who light up a room. From the moment they walk in, you feel happier and more relaxed. One of the greatest energies you can radiate is confidence. That energy that says "I'm happy with who I am, I love myself as much as I love everyone else, and most importantly, I'm happy to be here."

Because none of us in the dating scene were born yesterday, we all have past experiences that we have to work through. But that's in the past. You can't control it and you just have to except it. Just because someone may have hurt you or made you feel devalued in the past does not mean that you are a third or even second class citizen. Remind yourself every day that if you wouldn't want to date you, who else would? If you have been out of the dating scene and are starting to think that the reason no one wants to date you is because of X Y & Z, the best thing you can do is to stop focusing on the opposite sex and begin focusing on yourself. See yourself in a positive light, and befriend yourself, get to know yourself, understand the qualities that set you apart from the blonde plastic doll we are somehow taught to live up to. Once you feel that you are truly someone who is desirable your change in energy will attract people to you.

First dates are typically where even the most confident person will have an attack of nerves (except of coarse for Paris Hilton, but she's deranged). The best way to get over this is to begin by staking the cards in your favor. Wear the dress that always enhances your figure, or the piece of jewelry that makes you feel like a princess. Remember that their is a reason you were asked out in the first place. This person already likes you, and wants to know you better. They are also probably just as nervous as you are. This date is not a be all and end all. If it doesn't work out, so what? There are many other people who would glad to have you. In fact, say this out loud. Just have fun, and don't take this one night too seriously. This is the kind of energy that attracts, makes you feel great, and in turn attracts even more.

Whatever you think is holding you back, just remember that there is someone out there just like you who somehow as what you want. They only difference is confidence.

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