by Stephen Thorne

Created on: August 31, 2008   Last Updated: September 21, 2008

G,day folks,yes you guessed it a gardening disaster story from the land down under.Where the
days are long,the girls are hot,and the bonza blokes are full of thunder. I certainly do come from a land down under.(apologies too colin hay and men at work)
Were a layed back lot down here,some people say its hard doing bussiness with the aussies,
thats true because we go to work at eight am,and by twelve noon were down the beach.

Nevr mind one day the world will get over it.
Moved into a beaut new place two months ago,asked the girlfriend too move in she said no.
So I just to her well you can go-anna,and she did,which is a real crock,because now I,ve gotta
get up of the couch to get me own beers.
The place came with a top little garden,you know,size of a postage stamp,not,to big,not too
small,beaut I thought.
So I got busy,vegies,the usual victims,spuds,carrots,and my prize winning tomatoes.
Great tomatoes,even if I say so myself.Helped on by that great aussie cultural ritual,of taking a leak once a day over the tomatoes. They LOVE it something too do with nitrogen,according too bluey me neighbour.He leaks on his lemons,his missus turns up at the front door once a week,with a lemon pie.Very nice, I thought,now the fridge is full of uneaten lemon pies...that bluey,crafty bugger,he can eat his own pies.
Over the last two weeks I got really ambitious,built a chicken coop,and,started breeding backyard finches.I did a fair old job too.
Then,went out the back to put the roof on the finch aviary,the choocks havent layed an egg yet,by the way. So there I was fifteen feet up,a ladder,fair dinkum,thats high.I stretched out
too nail on the roof, and the damn lot came down,and me with it. Legs cut, head bleeding, aviary smashed too bits.I stood up, the world spun round, and I fell face first into me native garden.Got up staggered back and smashed the choock house to bits.
So I thought thats it, and went straight inside to get a tinny,had to to do that for myself, cause like I told youse all anna,s gone. Woke up next day could barely walk.
A week later I sat quietly watching the telly,saw that funny home video show,and strick me pink,I was on it;turned out that bluey me neighbour caught last weeks garaden disaster on tape. Sent it in too that show,and,I won,first prize,amongst which was two gift vouchers to the local nursery.
Havent got the prize yet,but when I do,straight too the nursery,and in with the lemon tree,s,
And the rest of summer I think I,LL spend "fertilizing" them,true story,dinkum!

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