by WriterGirl

Created on: August 30, 2008   Last Updated: October 31, 2008

When I started dating I was very nervous. Everyone was telling me what I should and shouldn't do and it was only making me feel more nervous.

I was told that I shouldn't make the first move and play hard to get, but not too hard to get and make the guy think I wasn't interested in him. Then came the totally unneeded not to eat too much in front of a guy. I didn't have a huge appetite to begin with so there was no way I would be eating a lot when I was that nervous.

Then my Mom told me to just be myself. Of course she's a mother and had told me the same thing when it came to any situation that called for getting to know new people. In this case she said that it would be the only way to know if you're compatible with someone. The whole point of a first date is to find out if you're compatible and want to spend more time together.

It turned out that just like she is most of the time, my Mom was right. You're much more relaxed if you're not trying to be this perfect version of yourself. Then if it doesn't work out you're not kicking yourself and wondering if you have shown him what you're really interested in would it have worked out better?

" But why if I trip or spill something?" I asked, knowing full well that there was a strong possibility I would.

" Then you laugh it off like you normally do. It's as simple as that. If you think about it too much then you may ruin the whole date or you'll cause yourself to either trip or spill something."

I would like to note my first date was at a roller rink, I fell on my butt like ten times. I laughed it off and made a joke about it, it also broke the tension a little. So I was sort of glad that my Mom gave me this advice.

Even on lower risk dates I just tried to keep that in mind if I started feeling too self-contentious, or if I felt I had done something klutzy. I just gave myself the little pep talk in my mind just like my Mother had given me and tried to ignore it and enjoy myself.

There have been guys I dated who would act one way on the first date and then later on would start to show their true colors. It was very disappointing to learn the person who I was interested in doesn't really exist. It was also disappointing to feel like I wasted my time with them, in my mind you shouldn't feel like you've wasted time getting to know someone but I did.

So that was the best dating advice I was given. It's advice that I've passed on and have used many times over the years. Just be yourself and don't let anyone make you feel like that's not good enough.

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