by Manda Carr

Created on: August 29, 2008

Initially, it might seem a slightly selfish act, to consider a 'play list' for a funeral. However, death is generally something outside of our control, and it is human nature to want to retain some volition, with regard to the things surrounding it. Not only that, but music is such an emotive experience, it is a language we can share with those we love and who our passing will leave behind.

"If music be the food of love, play on, Give me excess of it; that surfeiting, The appetite may sicken, and so die." Shakespeare, Twelfth Night Act 1, scene 1. I always found Shakespeare's word choice slightly odd, but there is a huge cultural connection between celebrating a person's life through music.

In Europe, where the catholic church is dominant, organ pipes reach to heaven to herald to the angels. The word 'dirge' hails from ancient church Latin: "Dirige, Domine, Deus meus, in conspectu tuo viam meam," "Direct, O Lord, my God, my way in thy sight." It is part of the Office of the Dead. Viking funerals would be full of song, and many other ancient pagan religions, such as Roman and Greek would process with musicians leading and followed by hired mourners who were hired to sing funeral songs, such as 'naenia' or 'lessus' as praise to the dead. Again, not so very different from the African Yoruba traditional funeral dirge's announcing the departing spirit to the next world. To the East, processions of singers and dancers are still not uncommon at Taiwanese funerals.

As time advances, cultures change. Therefore, it is only to be expected that our modern culture demands modern songs. Music is fundamentally about the connection we make to it. So, if, for example, Uncle Stan was a comedian, he might have wanted a song with his mourners could relate to fondly. Perhaps a partner of some years has passed and the survivor recalls a mutual favorite, which gives comfort in memory of times shared. Or perhaps a parent dies and their preferred traditional hymn adds weight and meaning to the ceremony, helping the family to process their grief.

One thing is for sure, raising song to heaven in memory of the deceased is a poignant and fitting tribute to the person who has died. It also reflects the impact their life has made on those who hear it. By taking the opportunity to choose a funeral song a person is saying, "I think about my mortality. I think of the effect my death will have on those I leave behind. I think this personal touch might help you in your grief. When you hear this song again you will think of me and we will share a connection beyond death."

So, whatever song you want playing at your funeral, your consideration of it echoes a thoughtful and traditional need history, and by your ancestors.

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