by Kristin Castle

Created on: August 29, 2008   Last Updated: September 05, 2008

First day of Kindergarten: Mommy vs. The Monster

Madeline is off to kindergarten. I have spent many nights lying in bed next to her probing for any apprehensions she may choose to confess. Nothing! "I'm not worried mom, it's gonna be great. I'm gonna make new friends and I'm gonna learn lots of stuff and you are gonna be so proud." Yes, my mommy, I mean my daughter, has assured me that kindergarten is going to be great and I, I mean she, is going to be just fine.

Much to my delight, moms and dads were invited to ride the bus with their child that first day and to spend the day with them at school helping us all learn the ropes together. I was ecstatic. Gone were the days of sending our most valued possession off into the "real world" all alone while we sit home wondering if they can handle their new role of "student". Parents don't have to worry about peeling their child off of their leg and turning their backs to the tear soaked faces of their little ones. We don't have to worry that they are eating lunch all alone or wandering around the playground aimless and friendless. But even with this reassuring development came a new concern; would my very independent daughter allow me to get on that school bus with her and hang around all day?

Yes, my daughter has far exceeded my expectations of growing into a strong, autonomous little girl. But in my relentless efforts to raise a young lady who is courageous, confident and self-reliant, I have created a bit of a monster, and I had imagined this monster surfacing right there on that school bus when those doors close behind us and I am still on it.

I had attempted to prepare her for my looming presence on her big day. I had expressed how much fun we are going to have together. "Moms don't go to kindergarten" she proclaimed. I explained that this is just one special day and it's going to be great, to which she responds with only an eerie silence and a fiery, piercing, we'll-see-about-that glance from the rousing monster. But I too can be brave and courageous, and I had every intention of taking on the beast of insistent independence. I was once the master of invisibility when I was little and those nighttime monsters came out of the closet or from under my bed. I was prepared to conjure up this magic power again for the sake on my impending beaming pride.

It was only two days before school started that she had finally come to terms with the idea as we were walking in to her new school to drop off some extremely last minute

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